When I struggle with my concept of reality, Phychosis etc. I like to read about other people struggles with the label schizophrenia. The book the Quiet Room is one of the better books , definitely worth a read if your interested in the subject.
The Quiet Room
The book below I am currently reading. I find it interesting as it try’s to deal within the persons belief system, rather than trying to medicate them away which is like a band aid, and like all band aids it eventually falls off.
I was sitting down doing some work the other day. Was listening to some music engaging with voices a little bit. Laughing a little at some of there reactions. The father came in so I finished up and went stairs, if he saw me laughing to myself he would stick me in the nut house in a blink of an eye.
I sat down the day after to do the same but some new voices kicked in catching me unawares. I stayed calm and tried to deal with it. They were calling me evil and not wanting to do any work, which I did not want to do either but the sister is out of work and struggling to keep up mortgage payments so the money comes in handy.
This continued until I finished up work. So I went for a walk. One of the voices reminded me off my grandfather who abused me. The voice said do not compare me to him. I then felt the emotion of hurt it was quite overwhelming, I was trying to figure out how I felt and one the voices suggest betrayal. As best as I could figure out I felt hurt and betrayed by my grandfather. I have never felt this before in my life I believe I felt anger as mentioned in previous posts but this was new to me. I have only felt numb up until now.
I went for my morning run and thought it would be quite in my head but it was not. Among other things we discussed how evil was a social construct. What is accepted by one society/country would be completely unacceptable in another society/country. From this I pointed out I was evil in my voices belief system but I was not evil in my belief system. What is considered evil and what is not depends on the person viewing what is considered evil. Hope that makes sense.
I read some articles about emotional intelligence. They mentioned how emotional intelligent people are able to label there emotions. I am very poor at this but have been trying to make an effort to do so for last week or two. Below is a link as to why this would be important.
Keep up the good fight✊🏻