Just back from walk with dog. It’s rainy and windy here but I don’t mind to much , it’s good to get out of the house and clear the head. Just going to jot down some stuff from the week.
The Film Split:
Was planning to tell people at work I had schizophrenia last week but some one mentioned the film Split and that it was very good. Someone else mentioned that’s the guy thats psychotic. I thought if that’s what they thing psychotic is there is no way in hell I am telling them where I am at. Even if the film is good it certainly is not helping people with mental issues. I can’t help but wonder if they made a film sensationalising someone’s physical illness for example someone in a wheelchair and making them out to be dangerous. Would people still think the film is good. I read a review of someone who has the problem it think is called multiplicity, which is sensationalised in the film. It’s a very interesting read I would definitely recommend it. As it places a human face on the condition. See link below.
Review of film
I can’t help but thing films like this are a blow to people with any mental illness. I have yet to see the film and after reading review above on it I don’t think I ever will.
Symtoms
Voices quite enough, still throw the odd insult at me but discuss the occasional thing. My thought are still spinnng there wheels on telling work about myself being schizophrenic. I believe to practise mindfulness is useful as I am trying to be more aware of my thoughts and try to focus on the current moment more and try not to fixate my thoughts on any one topic. I can also spend a lot of time talking to myself and not paying much attention to what goes on around me I hope practising mindfullness will help to reduce the effect of this.
Violence
I have never been arrested for a violent crime. I am not a violent person but I can get annoyed at things. My mother acts like I am going to freak out and kill her if I act evenly slightly annoyed at anything, which is gas considering she can have brutally bad moods and bite the head off people. If I acted like her I would be sectioned in a day. Its like I have been given this label and I am no lounger allowed to get annoyed which I consider a very human thing to be. I guess she acts like this due to the stigma surrounding my label, it is a bit annoying having your own mother think like this. The link below I’d brief summary of people with mental illness and violence. It states people with a mental illness are more likely to experience violence than be perpetrators of violence. It’s quick read if you have time.
Violence and mental health
Dreams
I had a dream where I was flying during the week in amongst the other crazy stuff. I felt free and very happy. It’s hard to describe I just felt very happy. I looked up the meaning of flying dreams , one mentioned a person who is happy or comfortable about something in waking life. Last night I had a dream about some sort of struggle in life and trying to explain to a child who was expressing the idea “what about the life were supposed to have”, I said in return that expectation can lead to disappointment it is better to accept the life you have and make the most of it. I might of read that Idea somewhere but I like the idea of it. The child looked very disappointed at this. I woke up at this stage.
Health
One of the alarming statics about people with schizophrenia in Ireland is that life expentancy is 15 years shorter. I think that means I done at about 55 that’s about 14 to 15 years left. I think I would like to buck the trend and live healthy lifestyle with some walking and running. Sorry if a bit morbid but I try to see problems down the road and deal with them now. If you try and eat healthy there is a mass of information contradicting each other. I found the following link interesting it goes into facts of the effect of fats fruit vegetables and salt on heart disease. Worth a look I you have time. Not sure if video still works but information printed on page.
I tried to find a positive pictures of schizophrenia and could not do so. The image above is from badideatshirts.com
Well I have ranted on long enough
Hope the week to come is a good one and if not you find the strength to get through.
Keep up the good fight👍🏼
Voicehearer548 
Hi, I’m sorry that your work collegues started talking about Split just as you were about to tell them about your diagnosis.. I agree that this probably doesn’t seem like the greatest time. Although you could always say, “well actually, I have a similar kind of diagnosis and I can tell you that is NOTHING like James Mcavoy in that film..” I honestly think most people will be more interested than than bothered to be offensive. But I understand why you didn’t feel comfortable in that setting..!!
I hear what you say about the film just creating another psycho.. but then I think, anybody who takes that as the holy grail of what these symptoms are like is a flipping idiot, and doesn’t deserve my effort of trying to explain to them the reality behind it. Anyway.. interesting post, “I said in return that expectation can lead to disappointment it is better to accept the life you have and make the most of it.”- that is such a true statement, and so important I think for happiness and wellbeing 🙂 Take care!
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I really appreciate what it’s like to deal with disclosure at work. Even though I am a mental health therapist, some of my co-workers were hard to deal with when they found out, and I do believe I was targeted for quite a while. It’s gotten better for me, but that’s because many participants on the unit support me. Stigma is particularly harsh. I am in the US where the average life expectancy for mentally ill is twenty-five years lower. I appreciate your blog posts, thank for reaching out!!
Tim Dreby
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