Once upon a time I ran many races from 5k, 10 miles to 15 miles to my crowning achievement the marathon. I slogged around 3 of them. As a rule of thumb, I my enjoyment would generally rest on a fast time or racing some person I knew nothing about panting and wheezing my way along struggling to maintain a pace I probably should not be maintaining. Below is from my first half marathon I went out way to fast nearly passed out chasing some time or other, I nearly cried at the end seeing the finish line such was my relief for making it around I did not think I was going to make it.
I would go out on 18 to 20 mile runs first thing in the morning with no breakfast looking for the right time and pace and cadence and heart rate. I would run 4 hours and not be happy because my heart rate and pace where off by something or other. I would be a bit cranky because of this. I ran 50 plus mile weeks. Rarely happy but always trying to improve on this and that by my watch which fed me all sorts if weird information.
All the running and I missed something. Just be happy with where I was while trying to improve. I hit a tough patch when I crashed my motorcycle and broke my shoulder my health did not really recover and then went through a tough time with mental health kept indoors a lot like a lot of people with Covid around. The result is I could barely run around the house for 5 minutes. Ouch!!
The sister sends on an app from couch to 5k in 9 weeks. I am on week 6 and finding it tough but enjoyable. The time passes whether we try something or not, so I am up and running again at the young age of 45 to get fit and healthy. I appreciate where I am. It takes an effort to get the runners on (over the belly it does honest). And to get out and move for a half an hour or so.
I am looking forward to running for full half an hour and I am happy where I am at because I cannot get to running half an hour until I do what I can now. I take a moment at the end of each session to give thanks for the effort I am making now. I would have not done this while running 20 plus miles. I kind of feel sorry for where my mind was at, at the time. Just chill enjoy the run and the effort my body and person were making. I feel I could not see that at the time and as a person I need to step back and just pat myself on the back for where I am now and enjoy the journey a bit more.
I find it odd I needed to get to a place where I am not doing well physically to start appreciating where I am a bit more not just saying but feeling it. It is like in a very goal orientated society I sort of feel I have reached my goal by just accepting myself for where I am at and just working away at thinks and try enjoying them.
In kind of feel this applies to all parts of my life not just running. So, try it today pat yourself on the back just purely for where you are and feel that for a few seconds.
Love and Light Keep up the Good Fight.