Mr Pete the Voice

Below is a sort of presentation from my Voice Mr. Pete of what a critical voice is under his understanding. I will not go into how it was communicated other than it was communicated.

It was intelligently done at the time, and I cannot do it justice, but I will try. It involves some of my experiences mixed in it is sort of me at the start and blends to him and to me again.

I once watched a video by Elanor Longden, in it I thought she said I am compassionate to my voices, and she says I get along with my voices and all is good. So, I thought to myself I will be compassionate to my voices, and all will be well. See link below to her Ted Talk.

So, I tried for a while, and they basically told me “Fuck off”. I felt disheartened and rejected by my voices, this hurt. So, I went back and watched the video again. Showing the voices compassion and building a relationship would take time and practise. From that day I worked hard and would use humour and various things to try build a relationship with the voices.

So, I would try find meaning to my voices. I came up with various things over the years one of them Mr Pete explains.

The voices are in pain they can be repressed or dissociated emotions, so they use the language of pain.

Let me try and explain what I mean by this. You are sitting down minding your own business having a cuppa and someone wonders by, and smiles says hello in a friendly manner. This places you in a good mood. The next person walks by asks how you are. You say I am good thanks this is not the language of pain.

Now imagine this narrative again. You are sitting down minding your own business with a cuppa someone walks by smiles and smashes a mallet into your knee. You spill your tea you are more than a little upset. The next person walks by and calmly asks you how you are. You reply in very colorful expletives possibly flipping the bird with very angry eyes.

This could be considered the language of pain.

Now remember the pain from the critical voice is mental trauma from being violated from rape, violence, and many of the unacceptable behaviours perpetrated by members of society. Some may not seem trauma based and may not be but in general critical voices have some bases in trauma of some kind.

Now if you imagine the critical voice has been limping around for years crying for help the person hearing the voice can end up at logger heads with it, the rest of the family can be telling it to fuck off and also trying to quiet the voice with various medication (nothing wrong with meds they just don’t work for everyone).

Thanks To above from Mr. Pete I hope I did the idea justice (I feel the rest of my voices had some input in this, they are currently making farting noises to object to me writing this.)

For example, I don’t feel lonely anymore, which as a human being does not make sense to me. I spend a huge amount of time alone it just suits me. I would happily sit down listen to music (which is a blessing) and forget the world exists after my weeks work. But some of my voices would like company and are lonely and express this in the language of pain. Which like the person holding his knee from the mallet blow can be colorful.

On a side note, the person receiving the mallet blow from someone smiling would be a bit dubious of people approaching smiling as learned from past experience. (Psychiatry can diagnose responses to this which to me seems a bit mad)

I simple understanding the person is nervous about smiling people approaching them and just needs a bit of help and discussion around this would be much more useful than medicating them.

Hope above makes sense just trying to understand the world which from my perspective is completely mad and we agree cultural narratives and community narratives some of which can be useful, but some are extremely harmful to us and those around us.

Let’s change the narrative

let’s look outside our personal narrative

to understand other narratives and the

cultural narrative with curiosity and empathy

and see the effect we are having on each other.

May we learn to good people

who let good people be

and help when we can.

Love & Light Keep up the Good Fight

Mike

Give your self a Pat on the back.

Once upon a time I ran many races from 5k, 10 miles to 15 miles to my crowning achievement the marathon. I slogged around 3 of them. As a rule of thumb, I my enjoyment would generally rest on a fast time or racing some person I knew nothing about panting and wheezing my way along struggling to maintain a pace I probably should not be maintaining. Below is from my first half marathon I went out way to fast nearly passed out chasing some time or other, I nearly cried at the end seeing the finish line such was my relief for making it around I did not think I was going to make it.

I would go out on 18 to 20 mile runs first thing in the morning with no breakfast looking for the right time and pace and cadence and heart rate. I would run 4 hours and not be happy because my heart rate and pace where off by something or other. I would be a bit cranky because of this. I ran 50 plus mile weeks. Rarely happy but always trying to improve on this and that by my watch which fed me all sorts if weird information.

All the running and I missed something. Just be happy with where I was while trying to improve. I hit a tough patch when I crashed my motorcycle and broke my shoulder my health did not really recover and then went through a tough time with mental health kept indoors a lot like a lot of people with Covid around. The result is I could barely run around the house for 5 minutes. Ouch!!

The sister sends on an app from couch to 5k in 9 weeks. I am on week 6 and finding it tough but enjoyable. The time passes whether we try something or not, so I am up and running again at the young age of 45 to get fit and healthy. I appreciate where I am. It takes an effort to get the runners on (over the belly it does honest). And to get out and move for a half an hour or so.

I am looking forward to running for full half an hour and I am happy where I am at because I cannot get to running half an hour until I do what I can now. I take a moment at the end of each session to give thanks for the effort I am making now. I would have not done this while running 20 plus miles. I kind of feel sorry for where my mind was at, at the time. Just chill enjoy the run and the effort my body and person were making. I feel I could not see that at the time and as a person I need to step back and just pat myself on the back for where I am now and enjoy the journey a bit more.

I find it odd I needed to get to a place where I am not doing well physically to start appreciating where I am a bit more not just saying but feeling it. It is like in a very goal orientated society I sort of feel I have reached my goal by just accepting myself for where I am at and just working away at thinks and try enjoying them.

In kind of feel this applies to all parts of my life not just running. So, try it today pat yourself on the back just purely for where you are and feel that for a few seconds.

Love and Light Keep up the Good Fight.

Mike

Ain’t life grand

Last year my mental health hit the rocks.

Today I did my third week walk/run.

Another stepping stone in my physical/mental health.

My voices roared and bellowed I am a evil for this and that.

I still reckon I am a nice guy.

They stab at my body expressing their pain, it hurts.

But I look at the sky it is blue the clouds are beautiful white.

I give thanks.

I think of a quote I heard once life is grand even racked with misery and doubt.

I smile I almost cry in joy at the madness and beauty of it all.

The sweat rolls off my brow.

For a while it is grand to be mad again.

I smile.

Music V’s Darkness

Morning woke up to some weird ass stuff just felt like sharing. All good here have the day off so just chilling, getting energy healing from someone at 11am so just relaxing. Just trying to express what I can experience before I have had my coffee. Some of this can be dark so might be best if you did not read if you are not it right mind.

I wake at 5am on the button, my gentiles are stimulated I am being shown intrusive stuff of a nasty nature a voice says something dark I am do to. I just look at it and say that’s fucking disgusting and fuck off. It goes quite, I enjoy the quite it happens from time to time. I decide to lye on my back on plastic matt of spikes I have and half fall asleep. Wake a little time later relaxed remove the plastic spikes and chill.

It feels like there are a few large knitting needles jammed into my gums it is quite painful. (tactile sensations) . The voices start in it is pure hate. They start up their circus of hate. They say they are real when it suits them and they are not when it does not. They start showing me stuff and trying to build an argument I am the most evil person in creation(I like to disagree). I try my I forgive all and myself and let go. It is so not working. You can feel things from voices as well, this morning it is pure anger and hate. They are laughing and saying we have ruined your life everyone hates you. Your done would you just do us a favor and fucking kill yourself. I note their at least some still working with me on zoom etc. even if some are not.

I am stuck I can feel the slide into darkness, I got nothing I am beat, I am done.

I remember this dude from the voice hearing group he’s got his headphones on and he is vibing like nothing in the world matters but that music. So I grab the phone and headphones (the Guru I call Hanuman flashes before my eyes smiling) and I start blasting the tunes. I tell myself to embrace love in my heart for all even does who have hurt me and done me wrong and to include myself in this. The voices switch from just in my head perception to sounding real right there in the room with me. They have nothing but hate just pure hate and anger. I tell myself the voices I hear are the people who have abused and violated my person and to let go and to forgive. They seem utterly obsessed with winning at what I don’t know, I assume it is me dead.

The music is blasting I think despite all the darkness in my life and voices and the nastier ones and all that goes with them. They literally cannot hold up to one song. The hate fades despite their effort, I listen to tunes and I chill. One song and the wave of darkness that was threatening to wash me away. Is simply washed away and shown for the powerless thing that it is . I say things like I thing in love I act in love etc. my vibe is good and I feel well in the space of a few songs. They are their now laughing and taunting but I am awake up and running and out of bed and about to have my coffee. My vibe is good my energy is high while I decide what to do for the day.

Have a Great Day

Love and Light and Keep up the Good fight.

Recovery Lessons

How we now, hope your well. Lovely day here in Cork. See pictures below. Just finished my days work on PC it is good to have my facilities in better shape if not 100%, I am definitely better at work. I have been asking myself about working and being unwell and the general response as I see it from what I see as main stream society.

Lady Luna continues to still evade my attempts to catch her glory and prompts me to do better to see her wares.

Again nothing below is meant to give offense in anyway please do not take offense as this is just my personal experiences.

I have my struggles like everyone but was extremely unwell last year a similar experience I had 14 years ago. My voices went completely into Nuke me the fuck out of here mode. My version of reality became very skewed. The intrusive thoughts/images/sensations etc. and paranoia on a scale of 1-10 was about 50 million.

My recovery is ongoing their are good and bad days but much better than where I was. So I was thinking which is dangerous as they say. When I started to get unwell I was designing cards and working a full week at Steel detailing in front of a PC. I rang my Boss saying well I was not doing well and the idea of working 4 days a week. Possibly stepping back completely. After a brief discussion we decided I was going to work on as always. I let the others in the house know and few people around me. I realize after my outer appearance looked fine bit spaced out but I am like a ninja at hiding that. I can literally smile and answer people without having a single clue what is going on or even what I am talking about. I had been like this for months, It felt like this the whole time while simultaneously feeling spiritually high at the same time. But hey I was working I knew everything after years of this it really was nothing new. I believed this toughened me I could take it.

I had cut myself off as I was having intrusive stuff of an unpleasant nature come through and thought people could read my mind. Which trust me you do not want to share this stuff. I worked through it but during this time could of made a mistake in work which could lead me to getting my ass fired in a job. I am actually back in form enough to do now. I would imagine being canned would be a stressful experience which would not be useful for anyone’s mental health.

At the time of course there was bills to pay and I listened to other people encouraging to stay working. I can’t help but wonder if I just stepped back for two weeks and just took sick pay would that have completely changed the situation. Would I be in a better place now and not have had the experience I had possibly lining me up now to getting fired when I can work away. Also if I had a physical aliment would the Boss and folk around even considered me in working shape. Don’t get me wrong I need the work but I do rely on others opinions if bit unwell.

I remember my thinking at the time and still is. If I step back the GP would be called as before and if I could not convince him I could handle it (especially given my past). I thought I would lose my liberties be committed and given more medication at a level that is not good for anyone. I still believe this today to some extent but I am in the driving seat more now as have a good relationship with my psychiatrist and I am talking to people albeit on zoom but everyone in the same boat.

I think the same issues that came up 14 years ago are just coming up again for me to deal with which I am getting help with. That said it is 14 years later and around half of that was not working just sitting around not doing much. They even placed me on invalidity pension so as far as the state was concerned this one is written off. Not knocking anyone on it but I was in my 30is and I had the capacity to work. Also on the payment I was on I could not really qualify for training in IT which was the line I was hoping to go into at the time. I did find training with a place called the National Learning Network in Ireland and would have landed a job but for the payment I was on in IT. Which was disappointing given the amount of effort I put in at the time.

I can’t help but think if I had met someone with experience like I have now It would have made a big difference. Or the people and groups that support me now would have made a 1000% difference but these take time to build up. I am not sure where I am going with this and I know everyone is doing there best especially 14 years ago when I crashed. That said I did not meet a single person who hears voices through the whole experience until about 6 years in which I believe this would have helped a lot. It would have placed me in a better place much faster would a saved the state loads and I would have been a happy tax payer again. Also a much happier person much sooner with issues from the past at least discussed and had me in a better place.

I would not have felt like a complete freak with experiences. I did not understand and did not know others even had. I recall my experience at one mental institution where a young lady at dinner said “So where are all the mad people , you know the ones who hear voices” everyone shushed her and pointed their heads towards me. I was not in a good place at the time and just lowered my head. To which she said “but I cant believe it he is so quite” this got more shushes. Me with a big red embarrassed face. If this happened now I would just laugh at the young one and poked a bit fun at her.

This is among the reasons I always recommended the Hearing Voices Movement https://www.hearing-voices.org/ . I think there is a support network in just about every area now with people who experience what ever it is. It is really necessary for voice hearers as I think the first voice hearer I heard talk openly about it was Eleanor Longden. Which lead me onto speaking with a few others like Peter Bullimore nice guy who works hard to help people like myself. They really gave me the mentality I can do this.

I continue to have spiritual experiences but I am in a much more grounded place now. On Blue Monday I threw on Krishna Das and imagined sending out happy vibes with spiritual help no clue if it helped but cheered me right up. Saw enlightened beings during my little meditation was delighted with myself just seeing them brightens the mood and emotions. I thank them from the bottom of my heart which they lighten a lot. Did some mediumship at circle last week I did well with a little help, actually I did really well considering this was one of the things I would always avoid trying. As standing in front of group does not suit me. Zoom is not so bad. I have Sita Ram Sita Ram blasting in the headphones helps my type faster but murder on my spellings. I think I will just chill and listen to tunes till I go to bed. Maybe talk to folk a little. Also I need to place a plan in place for me to step back from work and life if in a bit of bother again (I think I was advised this by a voice hearer once, I think I will take the advice now.)

Love and Light Keep up the Good Fight my Friends

Below is a link to my gofundme Self care cards any help appreciated to get project off the ground

gf.me/u/zfb9q3

Open Communication

Hope your well. Another week down another few quid made. I am sitting in Mitchelstown listening to Luke Kelly on my favorite Irish music list see link to Spotify below. https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0CLrbYePy72EaImbw90XGs also eating hula hoops. What more could a happy man want. My Voices are going off in the background and some unpleasant tactile sensations but nothing I am not used to. I touch on few topics below as always nothing is meant to give offense just poking a bit of fun listening to some tunes on a Saturday night.

The work week went well hit a few issues with my voices on Friday evening as trying get some drawings out the door. Not really in the mood for work now and dealing with people which might make my voices very irritated. Need to do a little overtime tomorrow I am thankful of the blessing of a wage but mindful not to push myself to hard this year. My work is better this year as I get my person more online.

I feel myself getting better here I am glad I came but not really looking forward to moving back to Cobh but will do as I need but trying to figure a way out of it to keep the head clear of the place. I heard voices last night outside my door in the form of people in the house I was able to make them go away be just focusing on them. It was weird I don’t think I was able to do this before. Their not my main voices but I fell asleep I had a good nights sleep.

I am doing an energy course this weekend it is good my mood was a bit low but it definitely lifted my mood. I would recommend energy work it can be very beneficial and you feel great once you have done the time clearing stuff. It was nice to get card reading as well. I have been working a lot at grounding a lot lately. It is working but I sort of miss the highs that go with being not grounded you have a million ideas you Brain feels like it wired to car battery. It is like you are high on your own thoughts I feel like I am coming down which you sort of need to do. I remember this from before it takes me time to adjust to a Brain that just rabbits thought after thought after thought to less and less of this.

I don’t know if it qualifies as a condition other then the dreaded schizophrenia label people seem to shit themselves when I tell them. Not sure I really care as I have enough labels that don’t mean much to me but seems to matter a enormous amount to people who have known me a few years. Suddenly they find out or I tell them I instantly seem to morph into a three headed beast spitting fire.

To be fair after the initial shock most people handle it fairly well after they retreat to a safe place to recover from their reaction to what I now consider a challenging but safe and normal reaction to an abnormal situation (trauma) I believe Eleanor Longden said this (I think don’t quote me). See link to some more information to her here, https://www.psychosisresearch.com/news/dr-eleanor-longden-joins-psychosis-research-unit/ I believe this woman’s Ted Talk was a game changer for a lot of people it was for me when I saw it some years ago (more years than I care to think of) I had conversation to someone today he said the last 20 years flew, I though sure if you add a 0 to the 20, I am glad to be alive that said.

I have seen the look on the face when I have said I have the SCHIZPOHRENIA to one friend. He looked like he was going to push his head through the steering wheel, a reminder not to tell people when they are driving. Their reaction could cause a serious accident. I genially believe their reaction is that dangerous (ok I am kidding, like mostly)

So the reason I started writing this post and sort of interestingly meandered here was I mentioned to my sister that I still hear voices. The look on her face spoke volumes.

I believe she was utterly under the impression I did not hear voices which would well be more than a slightly untrue. She also believed someone who hears voices would not be able to work in an office. I agree it has been difficult in the office environment but not impossible. It has had its challenges but for the most part I have nearly always been able to channel my, lets say my high energy Brain into my work, at a more than a rapid rate and accuracy.

In a small office this has been useful to everyone they made money and I was employed. I have been doing this for more than 7-8 years after my last crash 14 years ago. I might add the ever so enlightened physiatrist at the time said I would never work again. Obviously I disagree with him having done the work under some fairly unusual states of mind. It can show the information my family was provided with (and cultural influence) on my first crash had a lasting impression. I know they have kids and more than their fair share of problems. It is just they where living under the belief that someone that hears voices can not work or basically function as a member of society. As a three headed monster I cannot express how untrue this is.

Now imagine you are already struggling and your family through no fault or their own view you in this way as well. You are already down and the medical team are also treating you the same way. They are giving you pills that are basically not working. Also in your belief system you are going through a spiritual awaking which you cannot really navigate without some help. So you are not to gone on pills which confuse your mind make your stomach feel sick and you are gaining wait at an alarming rate. Also seemed to cause a very unpleasant gout as side effect (ouch) .Try imagine that for a moment think what would you do. Go on I dare you come up with a cunning plan, I certainly spend enough nights trying. Heck even tried to implement a few with some success eventually. (took a few years and tears and smiles).

Sorry that was more serious than I thought it would be and went places I did not mean to go.

I was at hearing voices group today. I really enjoyed it. It was great to make the connection with people who can at least relate to some of your experiences. It lifted the mood and the time flew by. It was good to see some familiar friendly faces who where not going to judge you for having some really weird ass experiences you are trying to figure out. See link to one of their sites here. http://www.hearingvoicesusa.org/hvn-usa-groups-list/details/1/251-hvn-texas-online

I managed to get a little yoga and running in last week, ok like around the house for 10 mins roughly but it is a start to get back in to it. I am committing (no pun intended) here and now to stick at it 🙂

Wishing you love and light and keep up the Good fight my friends in the PC 🙂

Below is link to GoFundMe for self-care cards I am trying to get off the ground and help appreciated.

https://www.gofundme.com/manage/selfcare-cards

Abundance/HV Group/Synchronicity

Hi, hope this finds you well. It was a lovely blue sky here today if a little on the cold side.

I had a fairly lazy start to the morning did up couple posts for My Facebook page see link below. https://www.facebook.com/ReikiMike I try do motivational posts sometimes funny posts (I do my best, honest).

I did an Abundance course with Christine Mulvihill lovely woman I owe her and her circle’s and courses a lot. I developed my ability to read cards and various other things through her and the people I met. She is not perfect just Brilliant but she took me on when a lot of other people would not of given the time of day. Apparently some of the community I live in have given my quite the reputation (not in a good way). Also I hear voices and a history of going in and out of mental institutions. I got real and great healing through her. I owe her and every one I met along the way a lot and I will not forget that. Link to her Facebook Page Below https://www.facebook.com/christine.mulv

I went to Hearing Voices group online. Unfortunately logged on late but the information was brilliant one of the woman really knows her stuff. I did not say much but the information I got in space of 3/4 of an hour would put most councilors and therapists to shame. Mostly because they do not really understand the experience and would find it difficult to relate to. Also just to see certain topics touched on was amazing you would need to go through a ludicrous threat assessment depending on what Mental Health professional you where talking to on this stuff. I have raised these topics with professionals and family before and you could see their reaction, they just had no idea what to make of it and usually make the situation much more difficult. No really there fault they honestly they just cannot relate or need to believe they can’t not sure which (Probably just me paranoid on this one, maybe also the mind(ego) is incredible at lying to itself to maintain it’s belief in what it is, just my opinion). http://www.hearingvoicesusa.org/ This is a link to one of their sites.

Synchronicity – This is “meaningful coincidences” I heard someone bring this up during the day. I have had these experiences myself. I mentioned in previous posts that last year I had an experience that basically killed me 14 years ago or close enough, I was dead on my feet. It took my 6-7 years to even start to get back on my feet after it. The weird thing is the people I was around 14 years ago surfaced again during the process. People I would have worked with 14 years ago suddenly just showed up again and situations repeated. People got sick with the same thing. I cannot remember them all but there was like amazing coincidences that somewhat baffle the mind. Also somewhere along my healing process, I tried for hearing voices group unsuccessfully for some reason this time it literally just drops in my lap I was not even looking. It is almost like I got a second chance to take shot at what more or less killed me last time.

I am bit battered and can finally make an effort to move house which would be a God send (again their are good people where I live but well I guess everywhere has a few bad eggs I think after 14 years I have taken enough abuse). I repeated some of the mistakes last time but again the right healers again just seemed to help me at critical points. Also we are on lockdown again and I am in the sisters house well over the 5km lockdown in place from Cobh. It is not pretty but I am alive, I have not been institutionalized, I even get on with my current psychiatrist. I have no idea how but I am even working in the 9-5 and doing little bits on the side. My mind is relaxing few clitch’s along the way but much better.

It is great to be in new environment otherwise be sitting at the computer in Cobh which I did enough off last year.

Voices are acting up a bit but nothing I cannot handle.

Link below to go fund me campaign to get self care cards up and running any help appreciated.

gf.me/u/zfb9q3

Wishing you well

Love and Light

Keep up the good Fight

I like to do simple stuff like below, love more complicated stuff but I just like simple sometimes.

Love/Hate

For some reason I was reminded of a few years ago of an interaction with a person in a spiritual circle I was in. She said something very unpleasant after a rough night. I felt hurt it really did not go down well. She did not mean for me to overhear it (maybe she did I don’t know). So, was not sure if I was going to the next night or ever again. So, I left there in an extremely negative state of mind. In the past I would have left there in an incredibly positive state of mind and would always expected to do so. So, I felt this hurt even more so. I also hear voices which when something goes slightly wrong, they can build an extremely negative energy around something. Which can cause me a bit of bother and low self-esteem.

I woke up the next day and the voices set in the mood was low from the night before. I was never going to return to that spiritual circle again and I relied on it for support in the past.

I asked spirit for some help, I think around the same time I had strong connection with “Paramahansa Yogananda” in spirit. I then sat back and just started to list off positive points of this person. They could be anything, I will not go into detail, but I accepted they where the way they were towards me as a reflection of what they had been through. They had been through a tough time of it.

So, every time the voices set in about how this person hates me. I would just start listing the positive points of this person. I would keep doing this almost like a mantra over and over. After experiencing this for few days on and off. I truly felt a true appreciation for this person as a human being. What I experienced few nights ago was an extremely poor representation of her and there was entire world of stuff to her. I felt no connection to the hurt I had felt that night.

I may have done this to much as I felt like a light energy build up on back left of my brain. I was not quite high, but I probably could have grounded a bit more during this time frame. It was truly a lovely experience.

I went back to the circle we got along. I cannot remember exactly what was said but we continued in the circle. I had some brilliant nights in that circle since that night.

If I had given in to bitterness, I would not have had those excellent experiences. I would have not remembered the circle fondly. Which I most certainly do now. I simply see it as a growing experience now. Do not take people’s shit seriously as a reflection of yourself. You genuinely do not know where they are coming from or what they have been through.

I felt inspired by Paramahansa Yogananda to write this I still feel his connection from time to time.

And felt like sharing have a great day.

Love and Light till next time keep up the good fight

Morning

Morning, hope this finds you well. Lovely morning here but bit cold. It is about -1 but it feels like -8. Be back working tomorrow from home so will probably not post for the week or so.

I had my first Hearing voices group yesterday. It is a support group for people for hear voices. It was very interesting, to hear some things discussed that I would not bother tell most people given the reactions I got in the past. The was a range of accents I would need to get used to. My attention can be poor but I was mostly present in the group. I really liked it. Chakras and energy was even mentioned which I was surprised at. I looking forward to attending more meetings and just see where it goes.

My body feels a bit sore from the experience of being attacked the night before in the night it feels like muscles are pulled odd experience might bring weekly group I joined. I had a good night sleep did half wake to voices saying something or other don’t pay much attention any more. I thing one woke me up saying “We know what you are”. Had some interesting dreams.

Started get well cards but ended up looking at making my own website. Looks like a bit of work but looks handy enough on WordPress. Send self care cards of to a councilor to have a quick look to see if anything political dodgy in them. I have 3 decks ready but liking the motivational and self-care cards might do these first as I can afford to get these printed up.

Might do a little work and exercise today but mostly just might chill with Netflix as back a full time job tomorrow. Had thought about God stuff below from my diary again I would not argue this stuff just a thought.

“Popped into my head today if you do not feel protected or annoyed at the divine for some reason or the bad thing happened. All good parents let their children learn and make their own mistakes otherwise how would they ever learn and grow and evolve. I feel this is one of the harsher things I have written in a while, but I believe there is truth to it.”

Below is a link to Go Fund Me to Get Self Care Cards done up any few quid be appreciated to help fund them.

Love and Light

Keep up the Good Fight

The Blessing of a New Day

Good morning it is a lovely morning here pictures attached. I am thankful for the blessing of another day also a break from where I live to get into the countryside. It really is a lovely spot.

I designed two Mother’s Day Cards yesterday I quite like them, the Sisters said they like them so as month goes on see where can get them printed up cheap ready for March. Plan to look at some get well cards today see how I do. Might do another Mother’s Day card see how I go.

It is great to see reactions to stuff I place on Facebook. Plan to promote the sight bit more but later in the month. The voices are much quitter this morning which is nice.

I had a good night’s sleep woke to some weird stuff. So woke up to slight sweat pains in my forearms and hands and hips and smell of rotten eggs and sensation in the stomach of something that should not be there, I heard a car driving off at the same time. Not sure what to make of it other than the pain is real and the weakness in my arms is real and my stomach feels off However, when I focus on it I can make it go away mostly. It sort of feels like there is something eating you but you cannot see it a bit unpleasant to say the least. I have gotten more than used to it over the years. I always associate it with some people and combination of voices I have interacted with over the years. I also note at least I am not in Cobh where I would hear many cars driving away and few folks messing about and laughing. I like Cobh and there is some brilliant people there but it appears to be a few bad apples as well. I have had the belief they followed me up the country a few times and other places for about 14 years now. I look forward to selling my house and moving to country on to a little land. Where I have more peace of mind.

I did little energy work which seems to reduce and clear the effect of the night. It should clear over the day. Might ask the Sister for some distance Reiki might clear a but faster. I went outside and stood on the grass little cold but it is lovely to feel the ground under your feet.

I am curious do any other people pick up on anything of my experiences but after asking many questions over the years I learned to stop asking as it is a waste of time. I count my blessings and set my intent to do a little exercise and little work before the day is done and try not to eat to much chocolate. I tell myself this knowing full well I will eat the chocolate but I think you are allowed this time of year, not sure my weighing scales agrees with me.

Below is a link to Go Fund Me to Get Self Care Cards done up any few quid be appreciated to help fund them.

Have a great day.

Love and light.

May the Divine Shower with Blessings.

10 Blessing to Note Today:

My body is Healthy and well.

It is a lovely morning.

I am getting bit of my own design work done.

It is a lovely quite spot here.

I am always grateful for my spiritual connection.

My mind/body is recovering every day

There are some lovely goldfish next to me quite happy swimming around there bowl.

I have designed 3 sets of cards ready to go into production later this month.

I have plenty of food and running water.

I can go for a quick run to clear the mind. Hope to do so now.