Give your self a Pat on the back.

Once upon a time I ran many races from 5k, 10 miles to 15 miles to my crowning achievement the marathon. I slogged around 3 of them. As a rule of thumb, I my enjoyment would generally rest on a fast time or racing some person I knew nothing about panting and wheezing my way along struggling to maintain a pace I probably should not be maintaining. Below is from my first half marathon I went out way to fast nearly passed out chasing some time or other, I nearly cried at the end seeing the finish line such was my relief for making it around I did not think I was going to make it.

I would go out on 18 to 20 mile runs first thing in the morning with no breakfast looking for the right time and pace and cadence and heart rate. I would run 4 hours and not be happy because my heart rate and pace where off by something or other. I would be a bit cranky because of this. I ran 50 plus mile weeks. Rarely happy but always trying to improve on this and that by my watch which fed me all sorts if weird information.

All the running and I missed something. Just be happy with where I was while trying to improve. I hit a tough patch when I crashed my motorcycle and broke my shoulder my health did not really recover and then went through a tough time with mental health kept indoors a lot like a lot of people with Covid around. The result is I could barely run around the house for 5 minutes. Ouch!!

The sister sends on an app from couch to 5k in 9 weeks. I am on week 6 and finding it tough but enjoyable. The time passes whether we try something or not, so I am up and running again at the young age of 45 to get fit and healthy. I appreciate where I am. It takes an effort to get the runners on (over the belly it does honest). And to get out and move for a half an hour or so.

I am looking forward to running for full half an hour and I am happy where I am at because I cannot get to running half an hour until I do what I can now. I take a moment at the end of each session to give thanks for the effort I am making now. I would have not done this while running 20 plus miles. I kind of feel sorry for where my mind was at, at the time. Just chill enjoy the run and the effort my body and person were making. I feel I could not see that at the time and as a person I need to step back and just pat myself on the back for where I am now and enjoy the journey a bit more.

I find it odd I needed to get to a place where I am not doing well physically to start appreciating where I am a bit more not just saying but feeling it. It is like in a very goal orientated society I sort of feel I have reached my goal by just accepting myself for where I am at and just working away at thinks and try enjoying them.

In kind of feel this applies to all parts of my life not just running. So, try it today pat yourself on the back just purely for where you are and feel that for a few seconds.

Love and Light Keep up the Good Fight.


What is Ugly?

How we now, this is not meant to give offense just a bit I felt like writing on an idea bouncing around my head. I try channel from spirit in my writing so any questions to you in it are for me as well.

Cultural beauty to me is based on what that culture views as beautiful. It seems to vary per culture and time in history and is not really based on a usable measure. As this seems to vary per culture and time and in essence is all over the place and an unreliable measuring stick at its absolute best.

The link to site below gives my idea some merit, see some extracts below.

“The quest for perfect looks has been as old as time itself. However, culture plays a huge role in our ideas of beauty. For instance, “youthfulness” is the beauty goal in America, while naturally flawless skin is the beauty ideal in Europe. Fairness is coveted in most Asian countries. A voluptuous figure, long bouncy hair and tanned skin is considered beautiful in Brazil. Having a slender figure is considered an important beauty criteria is most parts of the world. However, in Africa, a filled-out larger figure is considered beautiful.”

“Every era in history has held its own standards of what is and is not accepted as beautiful. In the early nineteenth century, European explorers expressed horror and disbelief at the tattoos, piercings, and feather decorations of the natives. They considered it savage and barbaric. However, they considered their own top hats, powder wigs and corsets as high fashion!”

“In China, upper class girls would get their feet tightly and painfully bound, folding the bones, breaking them, crippling them and permanently stunting their growth to a mere 3 or 4 inches, which were considered beautiful and elegant.”

That last one sounds very painful. I would not indorse in any way. There are those who see the way cultural beauty is used and set up as a system of control for woman by men. See extract and link to article below.

“Beauty is a currency system like the gold standard. Like any economy, it is determined by politics, and in the modern age in the West it is the last, best belief system that keeps male dominance intact.”

Ouch for what its worth as a male not trying to keep the male dominance thing alive.

So that leaves me with what do I believe beauty and ugly really mean to me. I feel judgment for example calling a person a name whatever it is as they do not fit some idea you have as their cultural normal, or they make you uncomfortable about something which has nothing to do with them and is merely a reflection of them and how they see the world.

To insult or judge people this to me breathes inner ugliness if the person engages with this a lot, it will become their norm which they show or act out in the world which is simply a refection of their own inner world.

Of course, there are certain acts of abuse etc. that are ugly and evil these would not be debated in anyway, but you would wonder if above in the end just falls into the same category at some level. You really do not know the long term affects on a person from an off the cuff insult/judgement or playful insult/judgement it may seem nothing to you, but it genuinely could cut that person deeply for some time.

Also, certain evil acts on a person can leave them with a lot of pain which can turn to anger it does not make them ugly just they may need to do a bit or a lot of healing, but they may be perceived well by others, but it is hard for me to view them purely by the pain that lashes out just they may need to sort a few bits out but I need to respect my own boundaries as well.

I heard a quote from a woman from a book long time ago. I can’t remember where it was roughly “Your first reaction to someone is your cultural response how you chose to respond from there out is your response, that is the real you.” So do not worry about your first response in your mind pay attention to how you respond from there out.

I think most people have been called a word or been judged for this or that which can hurt until you realize this is simply a reflection of those doing the judgment or insulting. Which is an ugly act on another human being which can built an ugly internal world in that person and no reflection of you whatsoever. You should try not to take this on board (If you can figure this out let me how)

You would have to wonder also had the person who is insulting has been insulted with something themselves in the past or you have triggered something in them which lashed out at you. This does not excuse their act which essentially has nothing to do with you but them.

Conversely the ability to see the good in others and be aware of their actions may simply reflect their inner pain or cultural understanding or what they find acceptable as opposed to their true inner voice. The ability to see this in others and yourself while respecting your own boundaries reflects inner beauty or enlightenment point of view or at least to set the strong intent to try do so. Forgive yourself if you fail at this and try again.

I would think to accept cultural meaning of beauty or someone’s ugly act on your person. Would only lead to self-hate and judgement and disempowerment. This is not the goal of life in my opinion, if you are not feeling it try to see yourself through the eyes of those who love you. Not through the eyes of those who express themselves in an ugly way which simply sets them on the path to be ugly people or through the eyes of people who do not see your true self-worth or may be lashing out from a place of past pain which has nothing to do with you…

Self-love is vital to seeing the good in others and to hold space for them and whatever their experiences are and to feel good about yourself and accept yourself warts and all.

Love and Light and Keep up the Good Fight