The Morrigan and I

As an Irishman on St. Patrick’s day I give respects to the Saints but seek to pay my respects to my Irish/Celtic Heritage I looked up Cu Chulainn after reading an article from a Witch on Facebook. Thought the attached was interesting. I also hear voices and interact with Spirit/Divine giving well shall we say give interesting experiences I write as little Stories with a pinch of salt.

I can’t but help and laugh at the thought of trying to explain below to my GP and Psychiatrist and I do believe in the stuff but can imagine the look of absolute alarm and dismay on their faces. Behalf tempted to try to explain just for the look on their face. Perhaps Not.

The Morrigan and I

So, there he was like a good man minding his own business. Kneeling at his alter praying away to on high as a good man should and as always, the Good Goddess always has a place in his heart as is his way in Love and Light.

So mid-prayer he half blends with his higher self and has knowledge anew. He feels the Good Goddess she lets him know one of hers was harmed and she wanted vengeance as blood was owed.

Now the man knew he was no match for such energy. So, under the protection of Michael Archangel and Good Jesus he ventured a suggestion as a way around her vengeance for any harming what the Good Goddess Protects.

He came up with the mad or perhaps brilliant idea what if we set out to see the one that was harmed would be the last that this would ever happen to. For whatever reason, this struck a chord. It would be impossible from the start there was no hope for success for such a mission from where he was but as always, he handed it up with all of his prayers.

Well, that was a long time ago there have been a great many things happened since heavenly and horrific experiences since and stuff that is just indifferent.

All he can say about the Good Goddess is she protected him when she could in her own way and the crows warn and protect him when they can. He quite likes the crow’s and he made a few other Good Friends along the way.

He apologies to the Good Goddess for any insult along the way no ill intent was ever meant his mind can wonder and be kicked into all sorts of nasty stuff.

He warns others to mind their manners around her and be respectful particularly men no matter what is offered be respectful in response and pretend to be Saintly in nature even if you are not.

On the writing of this is on St. Patricks day he is reminded of his Celtic history and the Story of the Mighty Warrior Cu Chulainn as mighty as he was The Good Goddess took insult to him (in one of the story’s of him) and as mighty and invincible a warrior he was and impressive in nature the insult nearly cost him his life.

He wonders if the blood death is not payed on the his death will the Good Goddess come looking for her vengeance on those that insulted her and the one she protected who he hoped would be the last harmed in such a way.

It is always Good in Love and Light.

The Smart Red-Headed Demon and the League of Demons.

I hear voices and interact with Spirit and the Divine and unfortunately people now and then. This can lead to some rather unusual experiences. I like to call My Little Stories I write with a pinch of salt.

My Little Stories

The Smart Red-Headed Demon and the League of Demons.

So, there he was minding his own business as a good man should getting out of bed with the bastard’s bothering him in all sorts of ways. He battled his way out of the bed to the shower down the stairs in a daze bastard blazing away.No clue what the fuck he was at head clearly up ass. Bastards blazing away. Managed to get into the Car with his Good sister to get a spin to work. He got stuck on the thought to help a good friend of his like oddly bedazzled with it.

He could not go out much at this stage the bastard’s caused him much pain and ill effects on his body and the mind well was not great.

So, the genius he was he thought he would ask one of the Good Lady of the Circle to take his friend out as he did not think he could and thought his friend was in need and they had helped him in his time.

So, without much thought of wording or consequence he sent a request to the Good Lady of the circle he had known shall we say a slight volcanic expression if she felt wronged and rightfully so of course.

At which point the Red-Haired Devil the so-called Good Lady of the Red Hair appeared and declared you will now know what it is like to love someone who will hate you eternally with all of its demonic intent.

The good man sat there rather baffled in mind no clue what had happened all morning other than he had been made a fool of. What happened next was a surprise, to say the least, Saintly energy appeared and simply requested choose the Good Lady of the circle who he had made a request for help for his Good Friend or choose God.

With a slight pause, he chooses God always. He then felt something he had never felt before it was love for another human the Good Lady of the circle of course in a relationship fashion. He had never known he could feel this for another human it stayed for a moment it was nice different to divine love and the Saintly energy simply cleared the Karma of such a link and it left.

The moment the Saint was finished the Good Lady of The Circle in a very colorful language and poetry of words that only she could express returned the man’s message and let the Good Man know she would not be speaking to him again like ever.

He wonders if he shall ever feel it again love for a woman like this as a beautiful a feeling as it was it would drive quite mad as well as the Red the Demon taunted and intended.

He sat there baffled for a moment at the whole experience and thought it odd despite the Red Devils’ intent the Saintly energy was simply working out the karma of it all behind it all.

Karma is much too big a topic to figure out he has a habit of handing this up as it can cause quite a headache.

The Redheaded demon had quite the plan but with all their plans and smartness to make a man a fool they simply acted out karma and little else.

It is always Good in Love and Light.

My little Story 3

Hi hope all well I here voices and interact with Spirit and Divine giving very unusual experiences. I like to stick them into little story’s with a pinch of salt.

So there he was just out of bed minding his business cup of tea at hand getting ready to send a bit of healing and protection with the Angles and Good Jesus on Stand by. Candles lit and prayers said hopes were high with eyes barely open. In his house on a Saturday morning in a lovely sweet seaside town.

He sat back and relaxed for a second and in came the bastard’s energy sweet Jesus it was as if the man down stairs came knocking with half the place.

What he saw next won’t be mentioned but unclean was an understatement. He felt the bastard’s energy come strong with blow after blow. 

He lit up the top of his head with light and called on above and blew them from the room in fright. They came back again and again to no avail; the healing was sent in a mad show with Beethoven blazing.

From outside he heard them say that is not how to do healing. Right he said the Theater is playing the die has been set with Beethoven blazing he looked to on high and said ohh how the so high and mighty look down on one thought of so lowly will you please help the people I am sending healing to.

He heard a yelp from outside as they ran away. 

He saw imagery in the mind of Lion and Tiger with a blanket over head hiding as he raised the vibe calling on above.

He was on roll and kept blazing away clearing after clearing and protection and healing cast to good folk as the bastards blazed away to no avail.

It was done, it was finished. He heard something from outside, a critical voice no less muttering something or other . 

To which he picked up his phone and got positive feedback from a Good Lady which helped a lot to which he gave thanks to above and the Good Lady would be back again. High praise indeed from another healer.

The next message he was getting was healing himself at the same time a Good lady sent healing and protection for himself and his house from her sacred place and included would you believe a cross for exorcism and a statue of the Good Jesus himself.

He sat back with a smile, cup of tea in hand ready for a shower.

So, at day’s end minding his business as a good man should. He was giving thanks for his day to the Good Goddess and so on and next out of nowhere the darkness appeared in front of him he could see nothing but Eternal Darkness no matter which way he looked. 

He invoked the Assistance of Michael the ArchAngel. 

He Invoked the Assistance of Rafael the ArchAngel. 

He invoked the Assistance of the Holy Spirit.

There was a pause as he stood there and stared at each other such as it was. It completely encompassed  him. He could feel his own Protection rise around him and shine in the darkness he could feel his strength flow into his body which made him braver than usual. Strangely he felt strong and very comfortable given the dire situation.They stood there for what seemed an eternity face to face such as it was. He rubbed his stomach like he was going to take a bite out of it. He says you know me I know you remember we have met before and you know I am a Good Jesus man but I have Good Friends of Good Friends here and there. If you do not leave I will walk into you. To which he placed his hand in front of him and walked straight at it to which it promptly disappeared back to where it belonged. 

He gave many thanks and prayers to the Angels that night and Goddess and Gods that night and got a good night’s sleep.

What The Utter Fuck

Hi, hope all well. It is good to be alive it is good to be well.

I am a person who hears voices and connects to Spirit and the Divine.

I have heard voices for many years and had many I suppose unusual beliefs that seem real or not real depending on my energy level and were the voices are at and how the day going or possibly the direction of the wind.

I had a firm belief once the voices were trauma related but they were real people as well it just was just part of my normal existence. One of the beliefs I would place a blessing above my head for people for a Blessing from most High for them and be left be about it, it can seem real and not real at an alarming rate the word confusion would be slight understatement.

For example these days I like to think to myself incase anyone is listening to my thoughts “These are my thoughts and my thoughts alone please don’t interfere or listen to them as I hear voices and yours mix as same to a sort of weird Hell of an unpleasant Nature. If I talk to God and the Divine in my head that’s my Business I suggest you mind Yours.”

When I type above they seem utterly mad and I have a label schizo*** which I will not spell as I do not like the word I prefer to be called a Voice Hearer.

So I had this voice a sort of tall angry man with Glasses not a very nice voice he has been around on and off for about 16 years. He was tall and skinny in nature. He would lie violate anything he could set other voices up and general fuckery off all kinds. Now I had the idea he was real but never met the man plus I hear voices.

This man would have been based in my mind were I live but I was having so many odd experiences I moved to the country side for a few months. Which is lovely as fresh air fewer people around so I was less paranoid and my symptoms subsided but were still troubling.

So a few months into the country side living, I was sitting with a Black Cat having an experience of voices so decided to take the cat around the house to get some fresh air. I open the front door to step out. I hear the words fuck he’s coming out and low and behold the man with Glasses who would be tall who I though was real/not real was standing right in front of me in the country side out in the sticks as we say here which is the middle of no were.

What in the Sweet Fucking Fuck.

On top of that I had the Voice of the man giving out in my head I mean what in the Sweet Jesus H Christ kind of Fuckery is this. Excuse my Language Jesus no ill intent meant. Keep in mind all I had were images and feel of the man in my third eye which painted him in a rather dubious nature.

He had a lady next to him said she just had a Divine Experience and the man was quickly trying to get away and pushing her along. This is the First time I have seen directly the man in front of me in over 16 plus years. I was standing there looking like a dumbass with no clue what to do. He looked almost ill in his attempt to get away from me.

Now I know I am somewhat colorful of mind but for the fucking life of me this was real and I sort of know you won’t believe but that’s fine I don’t mind but keep in mind that there is a lot of things between Heaven and Hell we do not understand and maybe we just don’t want to.

Just as a matter on interest how would you responded you know to confirmation of your worst fears.

We turned away from each other and that more or less ended the encounter a few other things happened might go into them some day but nothing much the encounter more or less fizzled out.

I heard a voice the other day it kept saying sort of rhyming stuff very gruff stuff blunt stuff I would usually not write . Wrote below and it seemed happy enough to leave me in peace. Sample below.

When ill at ease

place quill to

paper to find

ease.

Best not go eaves

dropping or you

smell nasty

droppings

in deed.

A man may thing of a pretty

Woman. All day and be a

little happier. But he would

be no better from it.

Oh Holy Holy me

May I not fall off my

Holy Horse on to my

Holy Ass and look silly

in deed.

Oh Clever Clever me

May I remember is better

to enlighten than fall off my

clever horse and look the

ass indeed.

Whoa Whoa Whoa

Ego Horse

Whoa Whoa Whoa

Watch your idol thoughts

for they may knock you

off your idol horse.

Whatever horse you fall

from either Holy or Clever

pick yourself up learn and

choose better.

There is madness in this

world best smile and

enjoy it otherwise

you will be mad

in deed

Have a Great Day/Night

Love and Light and Enlightenment and Keep up the Good Fight.

Recovery Lessons

How we now, hope your well. Lovely day here in Cork. See pictures below. Just finished my days work on PC it is good to have my facilities in better shape if not 100%, I am definitely better at work. I have been asking myself about working and being unwell and the general response as I see it from what I see as main stream society.

Lady Luna continues to still evade my attempts to catch her glory and prompts me to do better to see her wares.

Again nothing below is meant to give offense in anyway please do not take offense as this is just my personal experiences.

I have my struggles like everyone but was extremely unwell last year a similar experience I had 14 years ago. My voices went completely into Nuke me the fuck out of here mode. My version of reality became very skewed. The intrusive thoughts/images/sensations etc. and paranoia on a scale of 1-10 was about 50 million.

My recovery is ongoing their are good and bad days but much better than where I was. So I was thinking which is dangerous as they say. When I started to get unwell I was designing cards and working a full week at Steel detailing in front of a PC. I rang my Boss saying well I was not doing well and the idea of working 4 days a week. Possibly stepping back completely. After a brief discussion we decided I was going to work on as always. I let the others in the house know and few people around me. I realize after my outer appearance looked fine bit spaced out but I am like a ninja at hiding that. I can literally smile and answer people without having a single clue what is going on or even what I am talking about. I had been like this for months, It felt like this the whole time while simultaneously feeling spiritually high at the same time. But hey I was working I knew everything after years of this it really was nothing new. I believed this toughened me I could take it.

I had cut myself off as I was having intrusive stuff of an unpleasant nature come through and thought people could read my mind. Which trust me you do not want to share this stuff. I worked through it but during this time could of made a mistake in work which could lead me to getting my ass fired in a job. I am actually back in form enough to do now. I would imagine being canned would be a stressful experience which would not be useful for anyone’s mental health.

At the time of course there was bills to pay and I listened to other people encouraging to stay working. I can’t help but wonder if I just stepped back for two weeks and just took sick pay would that have completely changed the situation. Would I be in a better place now and not have had the experience I had possibly lining me up now to getting fired when I can work away. Also if I had a physical aliment would the Boss and folk around even considered me in working shape. Don’t get me wrong I need the work but I do rely on others opinions if bit unwell.

I remember my thinking at the time and still is. If I step back the GP would be called as before and if I could not convince him I could handle it (especially given my past). I thought I would lose my liberties be committed and given more medication at a level that is not good for anyone. I still believe this today to some extent but I am in the driving seat more now as have a good relationship with my psychiatrist and I am talking to people albeit on zoom but everyone in the same boat.

I think the same issues that came up 14 years ago are just coming up again for me to deal with which I am getting help with. That said it is 14 years later and around half of that was not working just sitting around not doing much. They even placed me on invalidity pension so as far as the state was concerned this one is written off. Not knocking anyone on it but I was in my 30is and I had the capacity to work. Also on the payment I was on I could not really qualify for training in IT which was the line I was hoping to go into at the time. I did find training with a place called the National Learning Network in Ireland and would have landed a job but for the payment I was on in IT. Which was disappointing given the amount of effort I put in at the time.

I can’t help but think if I had met someone with experience like I have now It would have made a big difference. Or the people and groups that support me now would have made a 1000% difference but these take time to build up. I am not sure where I am going with this and I know everyone is doing there best especially 14 years ago when I crashed. That said I did not meet a single person who hears voices through the whole experience until about 6 years in which I believe this would have helped a lot. It would have placed me in a better place much faster would a saved the state loads and I would have been a happy tax payer again. Also a much happier person much sooner with issues from the past at least discussed and had me in a better place.

I would not have felt like a complete freak with experiences. I did not understand and did not know others even had. I recall my experience at one mental institution where a young lady at dinner said “So where are all the mad people , you know the ones who hear voices” everyone shushed her and pointed their heads towards me. I was not in a good place at the time and just lowered my head. To which she said “but I cant believe it he is so quite” this got more shushes. Me with a big red embarrassed face. If this happened now I would just laugh at the young one and poked a bit fun at her.

This is among the reasons I always recommended the Hearing Voices Movement https://www.hearing-voices.org/ . I think there is a support network in just about every area now with people who experience what ever it is. It is really necessary for voice hearers as I think the first voice hearer I heard talk openly about it was Eleanor Longden. Which lead me onto speaking with a few others like Peter Bullimore nice guy who works hard to help people like myself. They really gave me the mentality I can do this.

I continue to have spiritual experiences but I am in a much more grounded place now. On Blue Monday I threw on Krishna Das and imagined sending out happy vibes with spiritual help no clue if it helped but cheered me right up. Saw enlightened beings during my little meditation was delighted with myself just seeing them brightens the mood and emotions. I thank them from the bottom of my heart which they lighten a lot. Did some mediumship at circle last week I did well with a little help, actually I did really well considering this was one of the things I would always avoid trying. As standing in front of group does not suit me. Zoom is not so bad. I have Sita Ram Sita Ram blasting in the headphones helps my type faster but murder on my spellings. I think I will just chill and listen to tunes till I go to bed. Maybe talk to folk a little. Also I need to place a plan in place for me to step back from work and life if in a bit of bother again (I think I was advised this by a voice hearer once, I think I will take the advice now.)

Love and Light Keep up the Good Fight my Friends

Below is a link to my gofundme Self care cards any help appreciated to get project off the ground

gf.me/u/zfb9q3

Open Communication

Hope your well. Another week down another few quid made. I am sitting in Mitchelstown listening to Luke Kelly on my favorite Irish music list see link to Spotify below. https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0CLrbYePy72EaImbw90XGs also eating hula hoops. What more could a happy man want. My Voices are going off in the background and some unpleasant tactile sensations but nothing I am not used to. I touch on few topics below as always nothing is meant to give offense just poking a bit of fun listening to some tunes on a Saturday night.

The work week went well hit a few issues with my voices on Friday evening as trying get some drawings out the door. Not really in the mood for work now and dealing with people which might make my voices very irritated. Need to do a little overtime tomorrow I am thankful of the blessing of a wage but mindful not to push myself to hard this year. My work is better this year as I get my person more online.

I feel myself getting better here I am glad I came but not really looking forward to moving back to Cobh but will do as I need but trying to figure a way out of it to keep the head clear of the place. I heard voices last night outside my door in the form of people in the house I was able to make them go away be just focusing on them. It was weird I don’t think I was able to do this before. Their not my main voices but I fell asleep I had a good nights sleep.

I am doing an energy course this weekend it is good my mood was a bit low but it definitely lifted my mood. I would recommend energy work it can be very beneficial and you feel great once you have done the time clearing stuff. It was nice to get card reading as well. I have been working a lot at grounding a lot lately. It is working but I sort of miss the highs that go with being not grounded you have a million ideas you Brain feels like it wired to car battery. It is like you are high on your own thoughts I feel like I am coming down which you sort of need to do. I remember this from before it takes me time to adjust to a Brain that just rabbits thought after thought after thought to less and less of this.

I don’t know if it qualifies as a condition other then the dreaded schizophrenia label people seem to shit themselves when I tell them. Not sure I really care as I have enough labels that don’t mean much to me but seems to matter a enormous amount to people who have known me a few years. Suddenly they find out or I tell them I instantly seem to morph into a three headed beast spitting fire.

To be fair after the initial shock most people handle it fairly well after they retreat to a safe place to recover from their reaction to what I now consider a challenging but safe and normal reaction to an abnormal situation (trauma) I believe Eleanor Longden said this (I think don’t quote me). See link to some more information to her here, https://www.psychosisresearch.com/news/dr-eleanor-longden-joins-psychosis-research-unit/ I believe this woman’s Ted Talk was a game changer for a lot of people it was for me when I saw it some years ago (more years than I care to think of) I had conversation to someone today he said the last 20 years flew, I though sure if you add a 0 to the 20, I am glad to be alive that said.

I have seen the look on the face when I have said I have the SCHIZPOHRENIA to one friend. He looked like he was going to push his head through the steering wheel, a reminder not to tell people when they are driving. Their reaction could cause a serious accident. I genially believe their reaction is that dangerous (ok I am kidding, like mostly)

So the reason I started writing this post and sort of interestingly meandered here was I mentioned to my sister that I still hear voices. The look on her face spoke volumes.

I believe she was utterly under the impression I did not hear voices which would well be more than a slightly untrue. She also believed someone who hears voices would not be able to work in an office. I agree it has been difficult in the office environment but not impossible. It has had its challenges but for the most part I have nearly always been able to channel my, lets say my high energy Brain into my work, at a more than a rapid rate and accuracy.

In a small office this has been useful to everyone they made money and I was employed. I have been doing this for more than 7-8 years after my last crash 14 years ago. I might add the ever so enlightened physiatrist at the time said I would never work again. Obviously I disagree with him having done the work under some fairly unusual states of mind. It can show the information my family was provided with (and cultural influence) on my first crash had a lasting impression. I know they have kids and more than their fair share of problems. It is just they where living under the belief that someone that hears voices can not work or basically function as a member of society. As a three headed monster I cannot express how untrue this is.

Now imagine you are already struggling and your family through no fault or their own view you in this way as well. You are already down and the medical team are also treating you the same way. They are giving you pills that are basically not working. Also in your belief system you are going through a spiritual awaking which you cannot really navigate without some help. So you are not to gone on pills which confuse your mind make your stomach feel sick and you are gaining wait at an alarming rate. Also seemed to cause a very unpleasant gout as side effect (ouch) .Try imagine that for a moment think what would you do. Go on I dare you come up with a cunning plan, I certainly spend enough nights trying. Heck even tried to implement a few with some success eventually. (took a few years and tears and smiles).

Sorry that was more serious than I thought it would be and went places I did not mean to go.

I was at hearing voices group today. I really enjoyed it. It was great to make the connection with people who can at least relate to some of your experiences. It lifted the mood and the time flew by. It was good to see some familiar friendly faces who where not going to judge you for having some really weird ass experiences you are trying to figure out. See link to one of their sites here. http://www.hearingvoicesusa.org/hvn-usa-groups-list/details/1/251-hvn-texas-online

I managed to get a little yoga and running in last week, ok like around the house for 10 mins roughly but it is a start to get back in to it. I am committing (no pun intended) here and now to stick at it 🙂

Wishing you love and light and keep up the Good fight my friends in the PC 🙂

Below is link to GoFundMe for self-care cards I am trying to get off the ground and help appreciated.

https://www.gofundme.com/manage/selfcare-cards

The Man Who Knows Nothing

Hi, hope this finds you well. Woke up to another lovely morning here. Bit on the cold side but lovely. Woke up with a mind full of story’s and thoughts. Came up with the idea to write a poem knowing absolutely nothing about same. The end result is below. Not really a poem but the idea was there. Nothing in it is meant to give offense just written with an open heart and my current knowledge set.

I

I know nothing.

I used to start my prayers in this manner.

How can I truly hope to understand anything?

Without first admitting my complete and utter ignorance.

I am 45 with a little flare of madness I personally love but

it comes with pain. Some would argue I am utterly mad and

evil for my beliefs but oddly enough I disagree 😊,

But I know nothing.

II

Remember I know nothing. (seriously ask a woman they

will tell you 😊) There are about 7.8 billion people on

this planet. Which such brilliant diversity it could only

bring a smile of joy to the heart. However, there are

those who preach hate at this diversity to me they are

truly and utterly mad but I believe they learned this through

various means so, part of me feels sorry for them but If it

can be learned it can be unlearned. I must believe you are

not born with hate in your heart. Before I go further remember

 I know nothing.

III

Science

I love science. It has saved a lot of lives it has helped humanity

boat loads. There are many points of view on the new vaccine.

I respect each and mine knowing I know nothing 😊. The Earth

is almost 400 miles in radius. The Milky Way (like the Galaxy

you know) is probably between 100,000 and 150,000 light years

across give or take like, (sounds big) The known Universe 93

billion light years in diameter (sounds bigger). Also thank God for

Goggle. The earth has been around for about 4.543 billion years

wow we really should continue the effort to respect Mother Earth

she is old. People are around about 300,000 years give or take a few

years. (seriously like google knows a lot but not everything) To place

that all in perspective I am about 5’8” and a half and 45 years old.

How the heck am I supposed to understand anything,

given the time frame and sizes involved. I learned to trust some,

and I have my Spiritual beliefs, but would be careful of those who

say they know it all. I give thanks to my ancestors whether they

used science or not they survived in a rough environment to allow

all this to be. However, one thing I do know is the look in my dog’s

eyes when I am going out the door. It is like devastating. I love the

way science changes it is point of view to suit new findings.

I know I love Science. Like mostly.

IV

I have seen and experienced true evil and true good

or at least my perception of them. I believe in a

Goddess/God that wants us to learn and grow in

love to such an extent he/she has placed us here to do so.

I honestly believe he/she does not want us here to suffer

and would encourage us to grow but like any good parent

watches their children learn and make their own mistakes.

Even when it truly hurts both to do so. That said what do I

know of Gods and Goddess, I know nothing. I would not argue

any of this with anyone as I remind myself again, I know nothing.

Yet I believe I am attached to an eternal soul that reaches far

back and will continue on after I am gone, and it has been my

honor to get this far in life and contribute to same. I have met

some brilliant people along the way. I may not have always seen

eye to eye but I learn and grow from each in my own unique way.

I believe most of them think I am mad, not sure if that is a good or

bad thing yet or both. I think it is both. Yah I know it is both.

V

I truly know nothing.

Do I write these things to make sense or something

resembling a sense of an understanding of a world and

universe where they may be none. Are these nice words

to sooth a troubled mind. That said I honestly believe the

Devine and Spirit have touched me with a sense of love and

bliss that feels like everything and more, and I just cry in joy

and pain when it comes. But I truly know nothing.

VI

Sure, would I know?

How could a man of a mere man of 45 years truly understand

anything. Other than I am going to enjoy my next cuppa with

a biscuit I should probably not eat after my Christmas. Also

learning love and compassion, doing my best to listen and

understand folk but my mind wonders sure I do my best.

Sure, what would I know?

Wishing Everyone the best

Love and light keep up the good fight.

Mike

I have been told one of my Spirit guides was brilliant guy below for a while mine change a lot. Looking at above I feel confirms it to some extent. I always like to say I have experiences but let people make up their own mind up and do my best to not judge them on their opinions of me which they are entitled to.

Below is link to self-care cards I would like to do any help including sharing gofundme campaign is much appreciated. See link for more info. gf.me/u/zfb9q3

Abundance/HV Group/Synchronicity

Hi, hope this finds you well. It was a lovely blue sky here today if a little on the cold side.

I had a fairly lazy start to the morning did up couple posts for My Facebook page see link below. https://www.facebook.com/ReikiMike I try do motivational posts sometimes funny posts (I do my best, honest).

I did an Abundance course with Christine Mulvihill lovely woman I owe her and her circle’s and courses a lot. I developed my ability to read cards and various other things through her and the people I met. She is not perfect just Brilliant but she took me on when a lot of other people would not of given the time of day. Apparently some of the community I live in have given my quite the reputation (not in a good way). Also I hear voices and a history of going in and out of mental institutions. I got real and great healing through her. I owe her and every one I met along the way a lot and I will not forget that. Link to her Facebook Page Below https://www.facebook.com/christine.mulv

I went to Hearing Voices group online. Unfortunately logged on late but the information was brilliant one of the woman really knows her stuff. I did not say much but the information I got in space of 3/4 of an hour would put most councilors and therapists to shame. Mostly because they do not really understand the experience and would find it difficult to relate to. Also just to see certain topics touched on was amazing you would need to go through a ludicrous threat assessment depending on what Mental Health professional you where talking to on this stuff. I have raised these topics with professionals and family before and you could see their reaction, they just had no idea what to make of it and usually make the situation much more difficult. No really there fault they honestly they just cannot relate or need to believe they can’t not sure which (Probably just me paranoid on this one, maybe also the mind(ego) is incredible at lying to itself to maintain it’s belief in what it is, just my opinion). http://www.hearingvoicesusa.org/ This is a link to one of their sites.

Synchronicity – This is “meaningful coincidences” I heard someone bring this up during the day. I have had these experiences myself. I mentioned in previous posts that last year I had an experience that basically killed me 14 years ago or close enough, I was dead on my feet. It took my 6-7 years to even start to get back on my feet after it. The weird thing is the people I was around 14 years ago surfaced again during the process. People I would have worked with 14 years ago suddenly just showed up again and situations repeated. People got sick with the same thing. I cannot remember them all but there was like amazing coincidences that somewhat baffle the mind. Also somewhere along my healing process, I tried for hearing voices group unsuccessfully for some reason this time it literally just drops in my lap I was not even looking. It is almost like I got a second chance to take shot at what more or less killed me last time.

I am bit battered and can finally make an effort to move house which would be a God send (again their are good people where I live but well I guess everywhere has a few bad eggs I think after 14 years I have taken enough abuse). I repeated some of the mistakes last time but again the right healers again just seemed to help me at critical points. Also we are on lockdown again and I am in the sisters house well over the 5km lockdown in place from Cobh. It is not pretty but I am alive, I have not been institutionalized, I even get on with my current psychiatrist. I have no idea how but I am even working in the 9-5 and doing little bits on the side. My mind is relaxing few clitch’s along the way but much better.

It is great to be in new environment otherwise be sitting at the computer in Cobh which I did enough off last year.

Voices are acting up a bit but nothing I cannot handle.

Link below to go fund me campaign to get self care cards up and running any help appreciated.

gf.me/u/zfb9q3

Wishing you well

Love and Light

Keep up the good Fight

I like to do simple stuff like below, love more complicated stuff but I just like simple sometimes.

Love/Hate

For some reason I was reminded of a few years ago of an interaction with a person in a spiritual circle I was in. She said something very unpleasant after a rough night. I felt hurt it really did not go down well. She did not mean for me to overhear it (maybe she did I don’t know). So, was not sure if I was going to the next night or ever again. So, I left there in an extremely negative state of mind. In the past I would have left there in an incredibly positive state of mind and would always expected to do so. So, I felt this hurt even more so. I also hear voices which when something goes slightly wrong, they can build an extremely negative energy around something. Which can cause me a bit of bother and low self-esteem.

I woke up the next day and the voices set in the mood was low from the night before. I was never going to return to that spiritual circle again and I relied on it for support in the past.

I asked spirit for some help, I think around the same time I had strong connection with “Paramahansa Yogananda” in spirit. I then sat back and just started to list off positive points of this person. They could be anything, I will not go into detail, but I accepted they where the way they were towards me as a reflection of what they had been through. They had been through a tough time of it.

So, every time the voices set in about how this person hates me. I would just start listing the positive points of this person. I would keep doing this almost like a mantra over and over. After experiencing this for few days on and off. I truly felt a true appreciation for this person as a human being. What I experienced few nights ago was an extremely poor representation of her and there was entire world of stuff to her. I felt no connection to the hurt I had felt that night.

I may have done this to much as I felt like a light energy build up on back left of my brain. I was not quite high, but I probably could have grounded a bit more during this time frame. It was truly a lovely experience.

I went back to the circle we got along. I cannot remember exactly what was said but we continued in the circle. I had some brilliant nights in that circle since that night.

If I had given in to bitterness, I would not have had those excellent experiences. I would have not remembered the circle fondly. Which I most certainly do now. I simply see it as a growing experience now. Do not take people’s shit seriously as a reflection of yourself. You genuinely do not know where they are coming from or what they have been through.

I felt inspired by Paramahansa Yogananda to write this I still feel his connection from time to time.

And felt like sharing have a great day.

Love and Light till next time keep up the good fight

Morning

Morning, hope this finds you well. Lovely morning here but bit cold. It is about -1 but it feels like -8. Be back working tomorrow from home so will probably not post for the week or so.

I had my first Hearing voices group yesterday. It is a support group for people for hear voices. It was very interesting, to hear some things discussed that I would not bother tell most people given the reactions I got in the past. The was a range of accents I would need to get used to. My attention can be poor but I was mostly present in the group. I really liked it. Chakras and energy was even mentioned which I was surprised at. I looking forward to attending more meetings and just see where it goes.

My body feels a bit sore from the experience of being attacked the night before in the night it feels like muscles are pulled odd experience might bring weekly group I joined. I had a good night sleep did half wake to voices saying something or other don’t pay much attention any more. I thing one woke me up saying “We know what you are”. Had some interesting dreams.

Started get well cards but ended up looking at making my own website. Looks like a bit of work but looks handy enough on WordPress. Send self care cards of to a councilor to have a quick look to see if anything political dodgy in them. I have 3 decks ready but liking the motivational and self-care cards might do these first as I can afford to get these printed up.

Might do a little work and exercise today but mostly just might chill with Netflix as back a full time job tomorrow. Had thought about God stuff below from my diary again I would not argue this stuff just a thought.

“Popped into my head today if you do not feel protected or annoyed at the divine for some reason or the bad thing happened. All good parents let their children learn and make their own mistakes otherwise how would they ever learn and grow and evolve. I feel this is one of the harsher things I have written in a while, but I believe there is truth to it.”

Below is a link to Go Fund Me to Get Self Care Cards done up any few quid be appreciated to help fund them.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/selfcare-cards?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cf+share-flow-1

Love and Light

Keep up the Good Fight