Hi, I hear voices and interact with Spirit/Divine and do energy work giving unusual and interesting experiences.
I do Energy/Spiritual healing I have an interesting interaction with folk who have entities attached to them and found sometimes there is healing for what we call entities and the person for both to find peace.
Generally, the person does not need to know this they just do their own healing. I have found this can crop up a lot. Probably because I have had a lot of experience of a Spiritual/Divine nature indicating this is probably a line of work I could do if interested.
Plus, I am not really a people person and Spirit is generally much more straightforward. Generally, they make it really clear what they’re about from the start like there is no mistaking their energies I have found compassion & empathy with a completely nonjudgemental attitude goes a long way with a strong bond with Michael the Archangel and The Saints and The God and Goddess most High in Love and Light. To me this is the best way to get things done both here and in the Spiritual/Divine Plane. Safely of course.
If there is any messing around or what I like to call fuckery it is generally people with heartbeats. Like I would say if there is something there causing issues it is because of someone messing or fucking around with malicious intent.
I have always believed we don’t need Devils/Demons we got people that covers everything no matter what is there. If there is messing and something causing issues there trust me some were along the line there was someone messing around with malicious intent.
Doing a Shop on Etsy hope to build it up over time. Any support is appreciated much Thanks and Gratitude have a great day. I have been doing this a number of years at distance and in person and had lovely feedback and trained with the right folk.
Much Thanks and Gratitude to hear and beyond I am always humbled by the support I received by both.
Ignore the Haters but Forgive them for there is power in this we do not see.
I hear voices and interact with Spirit and The Divine giving very unusual experiences which I like to write as little story’s with a pinch of salt have a good day. Thanks for reading.
My little Story.
So,woke as a good man should calling help from above with thanks. He was wiping the bastards energy from his being as he does most mornings. They brought up what the bastards call the Good Red Headed Lady a pillar of the community and the word love. He thought this most odd from his memory they simple used her to play on his depression and loneliness and normal need a long time ago.
The Darkness he met since would be more preferable a peace then the Red Headed Demon and anything she offers. Good Lord they call some of his friends Demons possible a gift from them but a man has an unusual ability to make friends and notes they have better morals then them. He looks forward to death not to just return home which was a burning desire but to be free of the stench of what they are. I always found it odd they used the seaside town as a sort of battering ram on his head I don’t think it has done either of them well.
They played many a tune which he used to dance to until he simply lay in bed and tried to will himself to die and he used to cry and planed how to be free. Year after Year after Year, Ohh how they used to delight in what they called his cry to God in Vain. How they danced and smiled at and took such joy at every theater and show so nicely set up Broadway itself would have been shamed and the shear horror of their of their song and dance. They deserve baftas and every prize a fiction writer deserves he always praised them for their imagination and ability to write fiction if nothing else. Now he just laughs as they play their latest show of this and that and that he will never pay for anything he did. Sometimes he almost gives a round of applause they put a show on so well he might cancel Netflix and just watch them instead.
They took all they could and the light in him responded to the abnormality from there actions he learned so much of humanity and found so much light he cried in fright and lead him to meet the Good Ladies of the Circle they showed him they what Good Lady’s are. He never knew humans shared such things if he had not been for them well it would not have been well. He remembers them well regardless of the Song and Dance the Demons have done since.
Because of what they did the light in him responded to the Red headed Demon and the every one she sends screeching of her Saintly and purity of her nature in her ever growing stew of hell over the years he set off on a quest he cannot remember with good deeds here and there and a show with himself and the Divine to cause a bit of a fright. Because of what they did the light in him responded and he can here the birds sing in the morning in a lovely seaside town which he bought a house to retire in which now he would happily burn with delight in his eyes a smile on face and a dance with delight possibly as many a Good Witch has done.
A response to the abnormality in there actions he has the label schizo. and worse and they still laugh and dance with mirth at everything he does. Because of what they did the light in him responded to them he has met voice hearers good folk with great big hearts some in heaven some in hell like him more than willing to help despite this.
Because of what they did the light in him responded and he met Good tough folk healers and the like in the seaside town he likes to hear the birds singing each morning and evening and look and the moon now and then with a longing for it he does not understand just yet.
Because of what they did the light in him and above responded and he met Saintly/Godly Energy and the Light of the Divine which now and then burns so bright all is more than well.
Because of what they did the light in him responded and being alone has a peace that is addictive and enjoyable when free from their hell here and there.
Because of what they did the light in him responded and he is a healer of course and healing himself.
Because of what they did the light in him responded and he has found strength in the Madness and Divine within and above.
Because of what they did the light in him responded and he runs a little Energy healing business on the side with all sorts of creative things going on here and there.
Because of what they did the light in him responded and forgives all and understands himself and others in odd ways he will not speak off.
On and on they scream and screech I win I win I win as he laughs with a little heart and maybe a little knowing of his own.
They still taunt him with their hells like they mean anything now but mostly he laughs now and has a few tricks of his own even comes up a bit better for ware now and then.
I don’t know were this will end or go but I am glad at least to have met some good and interesting folk along the way and make a few Good Friends here and there.
In Love and Light, It is always good to be alive it is good to be well.
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Man had a dream once to be left the fuck alone drink tea buy a house and grow old and die. He got what he dreamed for. The End.
Might try rewrite this one he has died to many times….
Hi, hope you are well. My self care cards are printed. I am delighted slight mix up on bags for same but should be sorted next week. Really looking forward to getting them online. I have placed a lot of love into my cards really looking forward to it.
Someone showed me a patron page where you make a few quid for your content see link below if your interested, does not cost much plus you get the Self Care Cards with some options if you cover postage outside of Ireland. There is other content as well, have a new Story relative to my mental health and meeting a bloke that looked like King Kong one night acting in a fairly violent manner.
Hey hope your well. Nice day here now, well still a bit cloudy. Very heavy rain earlier couple of places around the country are without electricity. We are lucky here, thank God.
Just like to note some stuff about my mind and voices and tactile sensations and what I have adopted as my norm. Also, my current way of dealing with them.
My voices are incredibly angry now and have been for the last while. They will pick anything from memory make it look as hideous as possible. Cut out the bits they do not like and build a heck of an energy around that. It does not need to be true but that has never stopped them. It came to mind I was doing a lot of chord cutting meditations, see link to one meditation to You Tube below. If you want to try.
It struck me some voices not all, some I get along with brilliantly. However, some attach themselves like chords to any shame or guilt in my person, and I mean anything. I thought of similarity to cords to cut in meditation, they could be considered like voices which need to be cut which have attached themselves to stuff in my person.
One minute I am chilling and the next I got images of stuff from 30 years ago pop into my head and a voice demanding I explain it. It can be a shock but after a while it can become the norm. I have been through this before, they just keep going and going until I basically break. I do not feel like breaking this time sort of curious what happens if I do not. This would be under constant threat of Guards (police) calling or gang to beat me up or I need to go fess up to what happened, not sure if Guards would laugh me out of the station or stick me in a mental institution not one of my favorite places in the world. After 14 years what can I say nobody showed. They also show me stuff about other people as well of an unpleasant nature. See link below just in case you think you are too Saintly. I also like to think people are inherently good even if personally have had a few show me a very dark side to themselves.
I am sort of believing none of us or at least very few of us are what we think we are. Underneath the bonnet we are something completely different. I guess we all have a few things we are not proud, now imagine a voice in your head showing you these for months on end. Even going to the extent of changing them and making them look very seedy indeed and making stuff up. They were even changing supposed memories right in front of my mind’s eye and still expected me to do something about it. It builds an energy in your head that can be nearly impossible to live with. The thing is I am so used to this, it literally does not bother me anymore. I now simply dismiss it, it does not matter who is wrong or right. Holy God my voices love to argue about nothing. I forgive myself and anyone else involved. I let go of any fear or guilt or shame etc. Hearing voices all my life this incarnation of them has been cropping up over 14 years. I am over it. This does not seem to stop them, but I feel quite happy about myself and try to forgive them while they literally feel like a tornado blasting my head.
Also, lately they it feels like they are forcing thoughts through my mind. This can take a while to get used to. After a while it is like the thoughts in your mind or just voices and you can nearly sit back and just watch them. It can be weird effect. Meditation can help but does not stop the thoughts/voices. If you can imagine you are sitting there a thought process pops into my mind, I let it go it repeats and repeats. Literally every couple of seconds more or less all day. It is like a stream of thoughts/voices that you can get caught in very badly and just get dragged along if you are not incredibly careful.
Mediation can help calm the mind or a task focused on or listening to music. Again, I am sort of used to this my mind can go blab la blab la about all sorts and I just stop see if anything interesting in it have quick think about it and let it go if I can do nothing about it. The Voices try to make a big deal of any thought process in the middle of this mess that is less than saintly and go off on one. I just let it go quickly as it is waste of time. Can get interesting stuff from it do including picture below and some posts on this site. I would not have done if they were not there.
While writing this they are shouting away and making noises of fingers snapping in my ears. They go quite when the music stops to go onto next song it is a very strange effect. It is odd when they go from voices in your head to literally a real voice in a blink of an eye in your ear. This is hard to explain just some are obviously voices in your head the consistency of the voices is different to peoples voices. It is really weird when they change to the same. You can also feel things poke at your body in an unpleasant way and bouncing off your boundaries and make sounds like they are getting off to you. Somewhat unpleasant to say the least. This can be unpleasant when it affects parts of your body physically. These are called tactile sensations by some and something else by others might go into that some other time.
Also, I have been fascinated for years how voices/thoughts absolutely focus on a story (psychosis to some). This story is everything it is all important but the second anything gets it the way of this story and the whole thing changes in front of your eyes. They just flow like into this new story is now the be all and end all story and the last one is dropped in a heartbeat. It is like a river flowing and we must stick to this mainstream the second it hits an obstacle and changes stream the last one is forgotten in a heartbeat. You cannot see it as you are in the stream. I have been learning for years to step out of this stream and chill as it just takes up too much time energy.
I would imagine that would sound mad or I do not know what that sounds to others. This is my norm; I feel my life is blessed. I am happy to be alive. I have a job. Finally got a deck of self-care cards going into production Monday. I love them they should make a few quid and hopefully put a smile on someone’s face and help them and others to think about their mental health. Did group Reiki healing today and loved it. I could do that stuff all day, just need to find someone to pay me to do so.
Had a great group meeting with the hearing voices groups last Saturday where I get to talk to people with similar experiences. It was a great talk went slightly over time and the two plus hours flew by. I really would recommend. For people with Voices or extreme experiences. Felt weird typing that I do not consider my experience an extreme experience just my normal life.
I would consider my spiritual growth is good. I am currently trying to figure out the concept that most enlightened beings basically started like you or me and we are basically enlightened beings we just need to do the practice. I am not sure what that means right now other than I embrace self-love and forgiveness for myself and try to figure out how to extend this to others. Try to judge like way less, can be tricky concept with thoughts/voices on board. My Spirits are good 😊.
Given I hear voices I sometimes adapt meditation to where I am at. For example, a smiling meditation (I think it is a thing, I have never looked it up) compassion meditation is awfully close. So, you just sit there, and you smile but you try feel that compassion for yourself. You do not just smile you feel it. I then try focus on smiling on my heart. It is like placing a smile in your heart. If a thought pops into your head, you smile a little more and feel compassion for yourself for having a thought you cannot stop from coming up. Whatever happens you just smile at it. Do not worry at thoughts coming up just smile and focus on that and the feeling of that. This amazingly simple technique has helped me heal and accept a lot of stuff. You can invite in Spirit or energy or whatever you believe in to help if that is your belief. Obviously if your smile gets too big just start again you are not meant to hurt your face. If there are to many thoughts just sit with a slight smile on your face but feel that love for yourself no matter what pops into your head.
Well, that is it for me off to small meditation and get away from PC for a while. I also need to tidy up. Have a great day.
Love and light keep up the good fight.
Did below phrase in my last circle, really liked it so placed an image behind it. Will stick on Facebook page during the week, see link below.
Morning, hope this finds you well. Lovely morning here but bit cold. It is about -1 but it feels like -8. Be back working tomorrow from home so will probably not post for the week or so.
I had my first Hearing voices group yesterday. It is a support group for people for hear voices. It was very interesting, to hear some things discussed that I would not bother tell most people given the reactions I got in the past. The was a range of accents I would need to get used to. My attention can be poor but I was mostly present in the group. I really liked it. Chakras and energy was even mentioned which I was surprised at. I looking forward to attending more meetings and just see where it goes.
My body feels a bit sore from the experience of being attacked the night before in the night it feels like muscles are pulled odd experience might bring weekly group I joined. I had a good night sleep did half wake to voices saying something or other don’t pay much attention any more. I thing one woke me up saying “We know what you are”. Had some interesting dreams.
Started get well cards but ended up looking at making my own website. Looks like a bit of work but looks handy enough on WordPress. Send self care cards of to a councilor to have a quick look to see if anything political dodgy in them. I have 3 decks ready but liking the motivational and self-care cards might do these first as I can afford to get these printed up.
Might do a little work and exercise today but mostly just might chill with Netflix as back a full time job tomorrow. Had thought about God stuff below from my diary again I would not argue this stuff just a thought.
“Popped into my head today if you do not feel protected or annoyed at the divine for some reason or the bad thing happened. All good parents let their children learn and make their own mistakes otherwise how would they ever learn and grow and evolve. I feel this is one of the harsher things I have written in a while, but I believe there is truth to it.”
Below is a link to Go Fund Me to Get Self Care Cards done up any few quid be appreciated to help fund them.
How we now, How we Now, How we now. I finished the self care cards delighted with myself. They are just small 50x50mm cards with tips & image, I used for self care over the years on my recovery. They are meant to be used for people in general but mostly for folk with the mental health giving a bit of bother. Could shuffle them and pick a card or two for inspiration or throw them in a jar and pick one. Could also use them for readings if that’s your thing.
Took a break for a while after cards done did little weights. I need to get back exercising my body it is gone very week. The Sister and Brother-in-law are treating me very well. I came her as did not fancy working from home again for another lock down. My mind is not perfect, but it is much better here less people around to be paranoid by. Still some intrusive imagery and get paranoid at odd car driving by but not much. Now I can deal with voices as opposed to people at the same time. Chilling listening to some tunes.
Did rough outline of Mother’s Day Cards I could sell on Facebook. They do not cost much to be made up. I like my designs. Would make a few quid nothing massive but it is not a big investment so worth the risk. Thinking of doing some get well cards as well.
Mostly just relaxing just letting the mind heal. One of the voices mentioned Cobh I have no idea why. I am not there it is just not in my mind. I am doing my best to make bank account look good so I can move out quickly when I find a house away from folk. The voices keep calling my projects arts and crafts, does not bother me either way I like the stuff I do. I have seen some lovely arts and crafts stuff, I have paid good money for. Anyone I showed my stuff to says it looks great. When my voices make a charge at me now it is unpleasant but I can handle it. It seems easier with less people around. Felt some connection to Spirit but at the moment just focusing on boundaries and grounding. Like to do energy work in the evening before go to bed
There is less bothering my mind here so can have a look at some projects for the year. See how much I can do before I get back to the Day job without placing to much pressure on myself. Hope your new years day is going well.
Below is a link to Go Fund Me to Get Self Care Cards done up any few quid be appreciated to help fund them.
So I have heard voices all my life. 14 years ago I hit the rocks ended up depressed for years and about 21 stone in weight. More or less sitting around broke and utterly miserable few suicide attempts in and out of mental health facilities. No money no job not exactly the happiest man you would speak to. No real hope for a future.
I would not recommend the experience. I made the decision about 6 years in get off my ass as I just could not continue as I was. Starting walking managed about a mile first day and nearly had a heart attack, I kept going and persisted badgered by voices every step of the way and my own inner demons. That decision lead me to wobble around three marathons and I have been working for the last 6 years. I have a strong faith in the Divine which helps.
I met the right people in circles and holistic healing course which brought me along leaps and bounds. It has not all been plane sailing. I have had many difficulties and pit stops along the way. So skip forward to this year my mind hit the same place it hit 14 years ago but this time I know from experience what to do or at least what not to do.
I eventually asked the right people for help the lock down here did not help. Also the fact I though I was invincible did not help either but eventually got the strength to ask for help. I choose to keep a positive outlook as best I could can be tricky with voices. Not sure if I won more than I lost but I set my intent and kept dusting myself off along the way. Learned about myself and others this year. I designed a set of cards for motivation and reading along the way hope to get them production next year. I ran a Facebook page to do motivational quotes during this time frame which I am very proud off given my state of mind. I have not had the need to be committed in about 9ish years which I am also very proud off it is extremely difficult to get off this circle of going in and out of mental institutions once it starts.
I think what differed this time to the last time was simply experience and just shear determination to not go back to where I was and of course a lot of help along the way from here and above. I am much better place now but of course like everyone still have work to do.
At any time during this year I could of simply choose utter disappear and done something that would of landed me right back in hospital or the morgue. I know as I have made decisions in the past that did so.
I guess what I am trying to say is you cannot choose what life throws at you but really can choose how to respond to it. I choose to what I can with what I have and not to forget to smile even if there are a few tears along the way.
Choose Hope not despair. You might be in the same situation but you would have at least some joy in your heart.
Happy new year
I wish you the best
Below is a link to Go Fund Me to Get Self Care Cards done up any few quid be appreciated to help fund them.
Just little extract from my diary (just give you some insight to where my mind is )as always take with a pinch of salt but never assume it is all mad. Best of luck figuring which. I use term V/P which cover voices or people which are getting hard to tell apart. Also just wondered do others have such experiences.
I would appear some local concerned V/P took the liberty to knock me right into trance/blackout with my mother in the room. I lose cognitive function just slightly did feel a lot of movement in energy in my hands and effect on my visuals. Like fluttering out of consciousness. I thought if I worked on my boundaries it would work and almost did and helped but did not stop them in the end. I believe had I my full cognitive capacity I would have left the room, which I believe I did not, I remind myself to do this in the future as it is safer. My mother was unaware of anything. I came do saying in my mind “I only work in love and light. I am asking you to leave.” Repeatedly. They then proceeded to show me imagery of horror stuff (intrusive thoughts) with the comment that is lovely imagery to have in your head. I was just coming out of slight black out and said I have whole universes in my head which looks so real I was convinced for a lot of my life they were, but they are not. I have imagery in my head of all sorts of heavenly and hellish things and I am not explaining it to anyone who just wonders by happily knocking me out, violating my being having their bit of fun and then fuckling off proud of themselves, they where messing around with local freak.
Did see two women walking off might of been them to paranoid to do much of anything. Once I regained me senses from this violation of my person. I said, I just do not care and just fuck off to V/P. It is my intent to repeat, as much as possible going forward and if they violate my mind just come back to my senses and tell them to kindly fuck off. One of the V/P would always argue I should not be around people as they are people with evil intention. I cannot really argue this anymore and hope to get out of here soon and away from such people as much as possible. I trust no one as they cannot be trusted but there are good people of course they are simply hard to see right now.
It can be tricky with V/P it seemed someone sneak into Neighbors and shouted something about move out you chancer., sort of hard to take this seriously other than I have meet many arseholes in my time. Also, neighbor’s dogs never went off so just ignoring, nice if I could keep nice flow like this when walking around it would be fun and on top of that there is some fucking thing interfering with my balls (tactile sensation) so 2020 apparently everyone is having a hard time. Which I am glad for the blessing of health for me and my family also keep my Uncle in mind as he has cancer. I am glad of the blessing of a new born in the family (safely & healthy for all involved). All of my family are clear of the bloody COVID-19 which is great. I am alive and breathing even came up with lovely slogan I got a giggle from. (will stick in picture at end) I have a roof over my head and technically still employed which is a blessing. I have a card with few quid to treat myself and someone else. I am surer of what I want to do in life, and I am excited to move forward with faith and hope in my heart. I am honestly curious were my life goes. Also, like Krishna Das has brilliant stuff if you are into chanting look him up on YouTube. I should throw him a few quid his stuff has helped me, wishing him well as he has Limes disease. I am thankful my Spiritual and Divine connection that comes through and has grown stronger. I just feel in the flow and happy to be alive. God is Good the Goddess is Good Life is good, but it is not all unicorns and rainbows. I reminded off cliché if it was not for the dark night how would we know the light. Sita Ram Sita Ram (Krishna Das song). I am thankful for new understanding of my being and others. I am thankful for the words Fuck Off I believe these will bring me much peace. I guess “No” would have done but hey some folks need clarifying. I am thankful for my ability to heal with help, to heal faster than I thought possible from a thing I would rather not speak off.
How we now this is continued on from God/Madness/People/Voices–Part—3. So just want to summarize with few beliefs I have picked up and developed along the away with information I believe from the Divine as well. These are just my beliefs they are not meant to offend in anyway what’s so ever. I would not dream of arguing any of these with anyone as people are entitled to their beliefs some of which you need to figure out and come to yourself. Below extract from my personal diary tidied up a bit.
“How we now V/P went to have a go at my belief in God and science. I have no idea why. I can learn to adopt my beliefs as I go but no matter what I chose to believe in God/Goddess. I believe, I guess faith. I have done this blindly and I have tried and looked into things myself possibly guided to figure out stuff that has never or have not been done in a while I honestly don’t know. Other than when in a room with people that know their stuff and I kick off they give it labels I have no interest in. I am again greatly humbled by having experiences I would call Divine Love touching my life and heart when I was basically out of options this picked me up a lot.
Even when I was really in the shitter. I prayed I gave out to God (a little) I genuine believe there is no harm in this. God is more than able to take it just give him some thanks after. I had some old thoughts/beliefs about my hope science will figure out some stuff around the God stuff/Energy/conscious etc. that at least this part of science that will remain respected by all will actually become something else it’s a hope/belief not sure where form it originated from a while back.
I am not sure if I lost my faith once and just kept praying I can’t remember (I really struggled around my own sexual abuse as a child and others and the thought God sat by and just did nothing. I struggled with this a long time. I don’t remember if I came up with an answer. I cant remember now as lame as it sounds all I have in my head is God/Goddess is love and nothing else. Everything he/she does is out of love and would not want us to go through this. Part of my belief is we are here to learn and evolve and in my belief God surfers this pain to allow us to do so and I do mean pain.
As messed up as it sounds their have been incredible human beings born form absolute horror and also destroyed by it myself included . I don’t know. I know this sounds lame but again I am not God/Goddess and it is a belief, I came to from various experiences or guided to I cant remember there is to much in my head over the years. I need to get better at this part and grow more but I need to chill for a while. I would not argue this with anyone they are entitled to their beliefs as am I. I would never argue this as everyone makes their own piece with what they have.
I have other beliefs like this I would not dream of arguing with anyone people need to make their own piece with this or stay at war their call. I would always ask what that belief is benefiting for you and not argue with them. I pray like everyone else probably a lot less than everyone else (maybe I pray in my own way) one of the V/P asked why the Divine answered my call. The word love popped into my head. I mean I have tried hard to embrace compassion they mock me repeatedly because off this. I don’t know, I would imagine others have more love than I do like monks and stuff and like good people nurses etc. Honestly I don’t know. I have memory’s of things but I don’t know.
I have beliefs around certain things I got from mediation. They involve death at a young age and that they would have had such a painful life it was taken from them to begin again in a better life as fucked as that sounds. I have this belief it was feed back to me be a reliable medium that I know why this happens. Again this is my belief I would never argue with anyone, I feel this just fits with God/Goddess is Love. And again some children that live for a while can bring such light to the world it is incredible. I have no idea where this is all coming from other than it just feels right and I am crying with no idea why and the V/P are about to flip out. I work in love and light and ask them to leave. “
So that is my update for last while I got some cards designed during this time and believe I am blessed if a bit mad. I wish everyone well. I feel good and life is good. Enjoy the xmass and New Year. Might start posting again more regularly if I have anything interesting to post.
So following from Part 1 post. I have mentioned my struggles with mental health over the years on this site. So I am going to give a quick summary now again bare in mind some of this is going to sound completely and utterly mad but this is the life I have lived and just need to get this stuff out of my head so it stops bothering me. I have some confusion in my mind so will simply use the short V/P to refer to voices and what I perceive as people. There is truth to this but again take everything with a grain of salt it sounds totally bonkers to me but it is good to write it out.
So over the years I have come to the conclusion my person is way to sensitive to people and energies causing me and others all sorts of issues. I don’t even know where to start with these will do a separate post. I think it sort of qualifies as some sort of empath but I think but it gets like way weirder than that but I need to factor in my mental health. So bare with me as I just summarize about 14 years of my life.
I bought a house in a lovely town in Cork. I initially intended to retire here but I have wanted to move out more or less since the day I moved in, ( I have been in negative equity a while and was out of work for years also with psychiatry more or less leaving me with my liberties hanging by a tread if I do anything to weird to those around me. It has not been fun. it’s not all bad either I have met brilliant people here) In a nutshell it got weird as in Alice not only have we gone down the rabbit hole , I think we found a whole other side of crazy.
So I have been living like two life’s more or less maybe more than two not sure. In one I appear to have a mental breakdown more or less when I moved in ( I had trouble before but this is off the wall ). I believed some V/P around me where doing all sorts of bad things to my person and being, affecting my sleep and mental well being etc. I will not go into to much detail but you would not wish it on your worst enemy. This has more or less continued nice and quite since for about 14 years. Those around me seem utterly oblivious to it. It is like they are in a different world to me. There was a few suicide attempts and was committed a few times.
Intrusive thoughts may be violent or disturbing. They may be thoughts of a sexual nature, including fantasies. They can also be about behaviors you find unacceptable and abhorrent. These thoughts, however, are just thoughts. They seemingly appear out of nowhere and cause anxiety, but they have no meaning in your life. They’re not warning messages or red flags. They’re simply thoughts.
A false memory is when “the sufferer gets an intrusive thought that they’ve done something in the past and the sufferer cannot differentiate whether the thought is a memory or an intrusive thought” (Preston, 2016).
Dave Preston, an author and blogger who struggles with his own OCD diagnosis, writes that these distressing, false memories can come at any time; it might be a few hours after the event supposedly happened, or years after. Regardless of the time frame, the common factor in these false memories is often a “sudden, striking thought that something bad happened at a specified time and place” (Preston, 2016).
The memories may be vague or hazy at first, but as the individual grapples with it more, he or she will likely find that things start to sharpen and details begin to appear in their memory; of course, these details are false, but they don’t seem false to the person remembering them.
So these process above caught hold of me 14 years ago. There is usally something build into the memory that would imply it is false but it naturally comes with guilt, worry and thinking about way to much. I have many of these some no bother some are utter hell, Some are quite fun and I wish they where real but Unfortunately they are not. The hellish aspect of these (now this is where it gets a bit weird ) Seems to be picked up be some interfering folk around the place or actually created them not sure which they did while I was asleep to inflict an absolute living hell on my person and intrusive thoughts turned into a constant flow of horror inflicted on my being. I have no idea how this is done but I personally have experienced focusing on people and affecting them into doing stuff they did not want to do while they where fully aware of it happening to them (freaked them right out with a giggle of course) unfortunately for me this works both ways. No idea how or why but stronger and weaker might depend on how grounded you and they are. I might have something to do with aspects of trance states of mind as well. I have no idea.
I would usually fall asleep at night wake to freaky stuff and have new weird stuff I would need to deal with during that day. There have also been times I would be completely knocked out and no idea what was going on. I also have perceived people focus on my being doing all sorts of stuff no idea how any of it works also I am bit mad but there is some truth to this as best as I can tell.
Naturally a constant flow of this stuff would break anyone and it did. I was out of work (recession here at the time) I was in and out of mental hospitals I gained weight with these people working away in the background with everyone utterly oblivious to it. I hear from time to time they are trying to help , does not make much sense given the utter hell they opened up in my being 14 years ago. Their also appears to be event around the same time that involved the Divine can’t remember much about it but I think it was impressive stuff again this would have been a spiritual awakening I was not ready for and was to powerful for me to deal with on my own. I believe it involved a Church at the time. It was 14 years ago in my mind I was being stalked day and night by V/P. It was really weird.
It took about 6-8 years to recover from this breakdown(attack on my person). It took a lot of effort but I got there I ran 3 marathons and have been back working as a Steel Detailer for about 6 years or so.
So, hi my name is Mike I have not posted here in a while, Just a reminder I do confuse reality but that is not to say there is not something useful in this and sometimes very true (with a slight pinch of salt). It really would be best to keep this in mind when reading this. Might be worth mentioning I do hear voices and have rather unusual beliefs, but these are mine please do not take offense to anything it is not meant it that way.
I have spent over the last two years developing psychic and mediumship skills in circles. Also doing courses in holistic health I have taking a particular liking to Reiki and Divine energy and doing card readings. I found it an immensely rewarding and healing process. Will go into this more later which will sound utterly mad but for the life of me seems alarmingly real. I have a site on Facebook where I promote Reiki and cards and do motivational posts on holidays at moment. See link below. https://www.facebook.com/ReikiMike
I had some unusual experiences in the circle which might be the norm for all I know. So, I let spirit work through me but I sort of blanked out, but no one generally said anything about it and I seem to freeze when anyone references it (I think I still do this I am not sure). So, spirit is easy you can easily tell it from me, and the result was usually a laugh or healing for the group. Sometimes I would experience this in sort of trance or just watching my body doing stuff but again the result was a laugh or healing for me, and the group so worked away. It can be embarrassing depending on what spirit saying but it does not phase me in this state even slightly. The person working with you can generally pick up its spirit as I would have actions or wording which would fit the person working through me. It was and is an incredible learning experience and a joy to do.
Now this is the part where it gets tricky, I used voices mine that I believe I picked up from people through energy or other means I have no idea, but it seems to have worked. Also, the result I blanked out and they would work away. As best as I can remember I committed them to the light and asked protection from Michael the Archangel in all that I do and for the highest good. This seemed to work they had information I did not have access to that would be useful to a reading/healing also I would look completely mad and possible scare the utter shit out of people (excuse the language). I would have the person down to a tee I would have my eyes closed with literally no idea what was going on. This would happen spontaneous out of the blue. I really should have let them know before hand. This seemed to go on for a while I believed voices hearers like me can use this incredible skill to bring great healing and information, I would not have access to normally. Also stuff I just would not say or deal with they would deal it with ease.
Might be worth nothing one of the voices agreed when speaking through that this could be used as a modality of healing, but I was too messed up and overloaded with voices to do so. Sure, I never listen to good advice. Keep in mind I can get stuff confused but I still believe this can be done in the right setting and right experienced people but would need to be done very carefully. I believe it works much better with voices from spiritual people particularly does who are gifted psychics/mediums as opposed to aggressive people or less spiritual inclined folk.
Voicehearer548 